“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Sometimes reading the morning news reminds me of the Enchanted Forest when Dorothy and the three caballeros are in search of the Land of Oz, only to be threatened by the pending doom of lions and tigers and bears. In that same vain, reading through today’s headlines, the three ladies who otherwise just lunch, Sarah Palin, Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton are doing to me what those animals did to our heroes from The Wizard of Oz. Kim Kardashian is suing Old Navy for their use of a singer/model, Melissa Molinaro, who kinda looks like her.… Read More »

Tyra Banks, move over. We are now watching the ultimate beauty contest between Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann as they go toe to toe in the hopes of becoming America’s Next Top Model… Citizen? Now all we need is a segment with Miss J Alexander as he shows the hopefuls how to walk up to the podium with grace, turn, nod to constituents, wave ever so slightly, then walk off stage without answering any questions. There is little difference between these two ladies when you stop, look and listen to them. Welcome to our newest reality show, model camp meets… Read More »

The gloves are off and the cat fight begins between Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann, the Doublemint Twins of the Tea Party. Neither zealot has officially entered the race yet, but they are already taking jabs at each other through their hired mouth pieces. What is more brilliant than that? Brilliant because as I predicted months ago, there will be no harmony with this duet. It is similar to the similarities of Bryce Dallas Howard and Jessica Chastain. It is hard to tell them apart, too. In March, when the Charlie Sheen meltdown was monopolizing the airwaves, I wrote: The… Read More »

The least of Pakistan’s problems is the recent discovery that Osama Bin Laden was living high on the hog in the midst of their military retirement village. As Bill Maher so eloquently put it on Real Time this past Friday, “Let’s not call Bin Laden’s compound a mansion, it looks more like a five story tenement in Van Nuys.” One would have to agree there. No, what the Pakistanis have to be far more concerned about are their dueling Fashion Weeks. Yes, as Mercedes Benz Fashion Week has inspired even third world countries to get on the fashion stick, Pakistan,… Read More »

Don’t you love people who shoot themselves in the foot? I sure do. It makes me very happy and few things make me very happy. Like a Percocet and a cup of coffee first thing in the morning. Or watching the snow fall from my bedroom window, which overlooks downtown Manhattan. Red Carpet arrivals make me happy, too, and last night’s SAG Awards was no exception. Winner is Mila Kunis. Let’s hear it for Alexander McQueen‘s busiest week. But in the case of Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin, their perfunctory need to yattle off at the mouth–spewing Tea Party nonsense–well,… Read More »