“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Please note: This Entry First Appeared July 12, 2009 Who’d have thunk that when I MEAN…WHAT?!? coined the phrase Manzie Report, and pointed out the horrendousness of some of the things that everyone’s favorite Manzie is wearing, that lo and behold, Time Magazine, yes, that magazine that puts Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton or Sarah Palin on the cover, has an entry about Mancessories. So, now that the Manzie has been adulated by the general media, I am thrilled to say my prescient observation of this uncanny trend has now been substantiated and I am officially anointing Time Magazine with… Read More »

Happy New Year! I am still down in Tulum having Internet issues coupled with a hangover so all I can do is re-post this entry from two years ago about the Mayans and their nonsense about the end of the world. Just so happens that I am in spitting distance of the Mayan Ruins and am going to take this nonsensical conversation up with the Gods directly tomorrow, after I finish nursing this hangover. … Read More »

As if being a Lifetime Recipient of the Gross Baboon of the Year Award is not enough, Sarah Palin alluded to or hinted at or just plain vomitted this: “You know, it’s not too late for folks to jump in,” to the Fox Business Network Monday evening. “I don’t know, who knows what will happen in the future.” You don’t know? I know. You will lose miserably. And that will not help your chances of getting another reality show. Unless… and this is a prdiction: Mark Burnett and Sarah Palin want to do a reality show of a failed attempt… Read More »

Not trying to outdo Barbara Walters, but surely after seeing her choices for Ten Most Fascinating People, I have been advised–and well-advised at that–to create my own annual Ten Most Fotz-inating People since Walters’ choices have been so banal… kinda like the people that grace the pages of I Mean What?!? … Read More »

Alas poor Donald… I knew him when he was white.… Read More »

Q. What is the meaning of hypocrisy? A. The pretense of having some desirable or publicly approved attitude. FACT: You cannot walk around trashing Miley Cyrus for doing a lap dance with an old queen like Adam Shankman and consider the new Miss USA marketing campaign a good idea. FACT: You cannot watch Jersey Shore and think it is hilarious, anxiously waiting Season Two, then judge Miley Cyrus for being too young to be sexy. FACT: You cannot be a self-righteous Tea Bagger (Sarah Palin) with a daughter that just so happens to be a teenage mother out of wedlock.… Read More »

Awwww, poor Michelle Bachmann. She’s running neck and neck with the losers Rick Santorum and Jon Huntsman for Biggest Loser in recent polls. Now, look, I am the first one to call that woman a crackpot and her gay husband Marcus Bachmann, a closet case. But to refresh your memory, I started the Michelle Bachmann for President campaign in May (see below), knowing full well that she guarantees Barack Obama’s second term. Well, I am still happy to support Bachmann for President. Please join me. Listening to old bug eyes yattle on and on how she would stop giving food… Read More »

In the Golden Days of Hollywood, no one cared about much besides the stars of stage and screen. Tallulah Bankhead, Bette Davis, Katherine Hepburn, Clark Cable, the list goes on. Seems like we have graduated (or what’s the opposite of that?) to be far more concerned with the whereabouts and goings on of the lowest of lowbrows of our society. The Nobody Newzzz is back and we have plenty to crow about. Crow as in old crow because the top story this week is about the Salahis. You will remember Michaele and Tartiq Salahi, that couple of Gross Baboons who… Read More »

 … Read More »

Perhaps I do not speak for everyone when mentioning drinking mushroom tea. Have you ever tried it? It is amazing. The reason it has been on my mind lately is because there must be something in the tea of the Tea Party. What exactly are the Tea Party-ers partying on? Surely these people are not stone cold sober. They have to be high on something, and life is not one of them. Reasons below: Michele Bachmann must be on Oxycontin or else she would have known, or had access to know, that the day she was bringing in the sheathes… Read More »