“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

It is a sad day for Black Friday because besides injury and death, this day brings out the worst in everybody.… Read More »

With the big news that Rick Santorum does not stand a chance of becoming the Republican nominee in the Race for the White House, much of the other news in the morning papers is more nonsensical than Rick Santorum himself. Sometimes one has to take these bits and pieces of rubbish and share them with his friends. Starting with Miss Piggy, I mean Snooki, pictured above. Word is she is pregnant but in a bind because they just started filming the new reality series Snooki & JWoww, a modern day version of Laverne & Shirley. What could be less interesting… Read More »

Tara Reid: The never-was was never married. And the lovely Family Lohan.… Read More »

Locked up in the Essex House waiting for Hurricane Irene to pack her wallop seemed like a movie of the week. An eerie quiet fell on New York City and everyone held their collective breath as the afternoon rolled into evening. Evening led to midnight and as I had said the day Bloomberg was hunkering down the city is preparation for our Katrina, I knew that this was just gonna the a big bad case of not much. Kind of like what happened years ago, when we prepared for the worst and got nothing. Call me strange, but after hunkering… Read More »

It’s all about having super powers these days. Whether you are a Marvel Comic or Katy Perry, whose super powers have catapulted her into the stratosphere, even with that noose (husband) around her neck, or a graduate of Hogwarts. The fact remains, no super powers, no fame. And in the case of HBO’s True Blood, you have to be a witch or a warlock, a shape shifter or a vampire, because being a regular human means nothing these days. Even in politics there are super things. Take this newly suggested Super Congress, set to determine all of our fates by… Read More »

If you thought Star Jones’ circus of a wedding to Al Whatsisname was annoying, hold on to your uber-sponsored hats. The cross-promotional wedding of the century is about to unfold, so stock up on your Dramamine, ’cause a fierce case of nausea is about to ensue. Unlike the wedding of the century last month between Prince William and Kate Middleton, the pending nuptials between Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries will surely reek of C and D list celebrities, lots of flat-ironed hair and enough loose curl extensions to last a lifetime. Needless to say, there will be a run on… Read More »

In the Golden Days of Hollywood, no one cared about much besides the stars of stage and screen. Tallulah Bankhead, Bette Davis, Katherine Hepburn, Clark Cable, the list goes on. Seems like we have graduated (or what’s the opposite of that?) to be far more concerned with the whereabouts and goings on of the lowest of lowbrows of our society. The Nobody Newzzz is back and we have plenty to crow about. Crow as in old crow because the top story this week is about the Salahis. You will remember Michaele and Tartiq Salahi, that couple of Gross Baboons who… Read More »

What did I tell you? Three weeks ago, when the Breaking Newzzz of Kim Kardashian‘s unexpected divorce from Kris “The Brick Shit House” Humphries came to light, I predicted that the Kris & Kim divorce will be a major soap opera, which I titled The Days of Kim’s Lives…All Nine of Them. Well, since the dish has started flying, I am changing the name of the soap opera to As The Stomach Turns because this divorce is going to be a doozy. Before the ink is even dry—from the Parker Pen that was pitched to Kim to sign the divorce… Read More »