“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

So now we should be envisioning the topless photo of some codger or the sneaking around between jogging and taking the next hill in Kabul? How do these people do all this catting around while doing important shit? How does one run the greatest military might or better yet, the sneakiest organization on Earth, then proceed to get caught with your pants down…LITERALLY!… Read More »

Now that Anthony Weiner has resigned and will soon vanish from the headlines, as the paparazzi and all the haters melt into the sunset leaving him and Huma alone to redefine their relationship, should Weiner still attend Horndogs Anonymous? Let’s face it, there is a 12 Step Program for every possible ailment, from Narcotics, Marijuana, Food, Sexual Compulsives, you name it. See the A-List below from Wikipedia. For some reason, however, Horndogs Anonymous was not included onto their list, probably because there are so few members. I started HA around the time of the Tiger Woods Skank-a-thon, making Tiger the… Read More »

A while back I wrote a piece about Mistresses Anonymous, the organization started by Sarah Symonds of the Gordon Ramsey indiscretion. Seems like all the women in the boat of having had an affair with a celebrity married man, come out swinging vis-a-vis the media. At least Sarah chose to use her position for good by starting Mistresses Anonymous, clearly an honorable thing to do. She has also become the go-to bloviator for every current infidelity plaguing our airwaves from Tiger Woods to Jesse James. While Sarah is out stumping for the Elin Nordegren, Sandra Bullocks and Elizabeth Edwards of… Read More »

Naomi is going to join Kabbalah…again…and again…and… – PAGE SIX Lisa Marie wants you to send sunflowers to Michael Jackons’s grave. Um…can you just arrange for a delivery every week and charge it to Graceland. – D LISTED Matt Lauer is a horn dog and must attend Horndogs Anonymous meetings. Stat. Sounds like he did it with the Double-mint Twins. – RADAR I love Cate Blanchett and so proud of her for wearing Alexander McQueen’s dress..that he had selected for her from beyond. – NY MAGAZINE Known Gross Baboon, Rachel Uchitel is up to her usual tricks..being a trick to… Read More »

Harvey Fierstein on Grindr? Yet another reason to not sign up for these gay easy hook up things. – PEREZ HILTON The Gross Baboons are getting a reality show. Michelle Bombshell McGee and Jamie Jungers are on tap to sleep their way to the middle. – TMZ Here we have a case where Steven Seagal is a cross between Gross Baboon and a Horndogs Anonymous member. – E ONLINE… Read More »

Here’s a love triangle that’s enough to make anyone brech, a.k.a. vomit in Yiddish. The news that Larry King was having an affair with his wife’s younger sister, Shannon Engemann, is not only too much information (TMI), but it is the kind of  information that boggles the mind. Once I read the allegation from Shawn Southwick (King’s wife of 13 years) my imagination ran wild as to how that dalliance came to fruition in the first place. If all this is true, here’s what we need to know: Did Shannon come on to him? Brech. Did Larry come onto Shannon?… Read More »

What has become of us? Who are we? Has our nation’s pastime become golf? Is baseball passe? So last season? The brand that is golf is having such a hey day, that I actually started wearing my old Izod shirts again. Somebody help me. Take me to a Golfers Anonymous meeting. Surely they exist. There are 12 Step meetings for everything on Earth (i.e., Mistresses Anonymous and Horndogs Anonymous). Since the Tiger Woods and His Band of Merry Hookers fiasco, we have become obsessed with the minutia of the sport and his penis. It is the cover story of every… Read More »

The fact that Republicans are already trying their darndest to implicate President Obama in the General Sexgate Scandal is utterly preposterous.… Read More »

Look, I am by no means a prude, but have you seen the new campaign to promote the Miss USA pageant? Donlad Trump‘s properties have just had a major Victoria’s Secret overhaul. The marketing campaign just launched and all 51 contestants have traded in their pageant hair and cornball, prom gowns for that skanky, Gross Baboon of the Year look that all of Tiger Woods‘ skanks share. Now, I am all for racy, but didn’t Carrie Prejean…nutbag hypocrite extraordinaire…get chastised for being a skank? Will this new pageant action shift the talent portion of the evening? Will we see Fellatio?… Read More »