“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

I have been commenting on Amanda Bynes and her desperate attempt to not be an chubby faced non getting work actress for years and now everyone has caught up to snuff. And when I say snuff, I predict that she may soon appear in a snuff film.… Read More »

Recently, January Jones was photographed in GQ flaunting her tits a la Maxim. As the magazine industry continues to spiral downward, GQ, whose readers I guess want to see boobs, has been featuring actresses with that come hither approach to photography a.k.a. Playboy. Maxim is the NASCAR version of Playboy, and the more attention the women get who grace the pages, the more little Hollywood starlets want to be featured there. Case in point, child actress Amanda Bynes, who took this Maxim moment to break out from her goody-two-shoes perception and show the world her parts. I call this Maxim… Read More »

Taking bets on who will win Gross Baboon of the Year?… Read More »

From the Abe & Miriam Webster Dictionary of Abeisms: Lohan (Low–as in life– Han) to reduce (an object or career) to useless fragments, or remains, burning, or dissolving (bridges). injure beyond repair or renewal; demolish; ruin; annihilate (credibility). to put an end to or extinguish (career). to kill or slay (career). to render ineffective or useless; nullify; neutralize; invalidate (your everything). to defeat completely (any and all hopes of a comeback). Lindsay Lohan is no longer a just person, or an actress, lohan is now officially a verb. Replace lohan with the word destroy and you will see what I… Read More »

Gross Baboon of the Year Award kicks off awards season here at I Mean What. Hey, look, the Razzies started somewhere and surely not in a ballroom. … Read More »

This week’s Not Best Tressed List is filled with an assortment of people, several of whom should know better. Now, I get that we can not all be perfect, however if you are going to a major event complete with red carpet, own a mirror, and have a gay, you should not wind up on my list. It is a simple as that. Anyone on my team is available for last looks before you step into the limo to avoid being put on The Not Best Tressed List. Follow us on Twitter or Like Us on Facebook.… Read More »

Bob Morris wrote a witty piece in the New York Observer today that I wanted to comment on. I adore Bob’s writing. Always have. His article covers the uncovering of people these days. Whether it is short shorts at dinner parties, the Lady Gaga bee-keeper outfit that she wore to her sisters graduation or the current Marc Jacobs spread…literally…for his new cologne Bang, everyone is taking it off and showing their hooch. This phenomenon of people taking off their clothes seems to have taken a big turn when Demi Moore made it OK to be nine months pregnant and nude… Read More »

My assistant Ryan said yesterday that he was thinking about getting a spray tan because the BCBG Max Azria store was doing an in-store promotion and he wanted to try it out. Horrifying as that sounds on every front, I implored him not to do it and hoped that he heeded my words rather than follow his heart when he left the office. The thing about spray tans is that no one looks good with them. Anything obvious is not a good thing. Most bridezillas that have adopted this practice for their wedding day look borderline insane…and orange. Orange and… Read More »

The news of Sarah Palin‘s seemingly larger breasts almost overtook the BP Oil Spill as the most talked about item of the week. Once again, it shows how deep the American conscience runs. Dead birds…awww…can’t deal. Big, shiny new breasts…let’s discuss and re-Tweet. We must stop trying to act like the leaders of the free world when all we can think about are tits and ass. Our obsession with body parts has tainted our ability to see the forest from the trees. Or the war and the peace, frankly. To my point: Every men’s magazine has actresses in skanky positions,… Read More »