“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Let’s face it, celebrity fragrances are here to stay and the field is getting more competitive as the seconds tick. Kanye West is coming out with one as is Madonna, the world’s greatest marketing expert. Naturally, Lady Gaga can’t miss a day without doing something media savvy, so get ready to smell like Le Hint de Gaga Schtunk. Rumor has it that a Nicki Minaj scent is in the pipeline and betcha my bottom dollar that some Real Housewife is seriously contemplating her options. HSN, here she comes. Hey, if Tovah Borgnine (yes, Ernest Borgnine’s wife) can do it successfully,… Read More »

NEW ALERT: SAMMI “SWEETHEART” JUST LAUNCHED A JEWELRY LINE. You know that I was not letting this ditty go by unnoticed. Sammi “Sweetheart” Giancola, yes, the bitchy one from MTV’s Jersey Shore, is actually launching a fragrance. Dangerous will be out in stores in time for those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer at the Jersey Shore. I have a hard enough time trying to figure out what kind of girl wants to smell like a cat, with Katy Perry’s Purr or Kate Walsh’s (ex)Boyfriend. Oh, and let’s not forget Jennifer Aniston’s Lolavie, whatever the hell that means, that she… Read More »

You know you have hit the big top when a fragrance bears your name, or your pet’s name, or your favorite childhood memory’s name of some such nonsense. You all know my aversion to celebrity fashion designers. Now I am officially adding celebrity schtoonk-meisters to the list of things that make me say fotz or “ewww”. Let me start by mentioning my favorite exception to this parade, none other than Dame Elizabeth Taylor. When Elizabeth created White Diamonds, she was pretty much out of the movie business, still  gorgeous and well…friggen Liz Taylor. Don’t even try to put Sarah Jessica… Read More »

Between Oprah’s Favorite Things and every friggen Holiday Gift Guide it seems like no one is doing the honest service of pointing out the “Least Favorite Things” until now. … Read More »

With the passing of Elizabeth Taylor, there is a hole in the celebrity fragrance market that Justin Bieber can fill with the launch of his new product line, Justin Bieber Scented Dog Tags. Move over Jennifer Aniston with your Lolavie nonsense because The Biebs is here with a fresh take on how to smell. The celebrity fragrance and celebrity designer industry is alive and kicking and Justin’s dog tags are the best of both worlds. It is a fragrance that will spice up your wardrobe, while spicing up the way you smell. It is borderline brilliant in a kitsch kind… Read More »

Clearly that well documented photo shoot between Justin Bieber and Kim Kardashian for Elle magazine had a lasting impression on the impressionable Justin Bieber. His camp has announced the creation of Eau De Toilette Justin Bieber. Toilette being the operative word. Well, if you think about it, a fragrance for lesbians marketed to tweens is borderline genius. Anyone who is anyone knows about my ongoing issue with celebrity fragrances and why it irks me to no end. The fact remains that the egos of these entertainers has gotten so out of control, that it cheapens their act altogether. Not that… Read More »

Have you considered how much money, time, thought, conversation, discussion, testing…not to mention the amount of focus groups, arguing, and overspending that goes into the development and marketing of a celebrity fragrance? One could compare the energy and cost of a single celebrity fragrance to…well…let’s see…the war in Iraq? Years and years of tireless effort…for what? What I wouldn’t do to be a fly on the wall for any one of these projects from its inception to the official launch event. I Mean…What!? has done piece after piece on celebrity fragrances and now that Katy Perry’s Purr is out there,… Read More »

The papers are trashing Jennifer Aniston for her newest bomb The Switch, which you could have seen coming a mile away by the premise alone. Who walks around with the sperm intended for the hoo-ha. Your biological time clock is ticking…what’s with the celebration before the fact? Hurry up girl…shove it in. Here’s how the casting of this role went down. INT. CAA OFFICES – DAY CAA AGENT: Here, Jen, do this movie, it’s called The Switch. JENNIFER: Who is the director? CAA AGENT: (Thinking to himself) Who does she think she is…Bette Davis? JENNIFER: Is it yet another comedy?… Read More »

Yes, this is true. Jay-Z just inked a deal with some fragrance factory in Fort Lauderdale… the stink capitol of the world…to pound out a collection of new fragrances called Rihanna, Kanye and Jay-Z (working titles). Oh, and one other surprise pop star, who at press time has remained nameless. Um…let me guess….Beyonce? Poor Beyonce, she is the only viable one in the bunch that could launch a celebrity fragrance, but now that she is married to Jay-Z, so much for her doing a Mimi or Brittany, instead, she will enter the ranks of…well…rank.… Read More »

What do Lady Gaga, Snooki, Bono and James Franco have in common? Celebrity Headphones… now I’ve heard everything. … Read More »