There’s Was A Tiger In His Tank

Feb 19, 2010Breaking Newzzz

Fresh from Pfizer...makers of Viagra....well...it's the least they can do.

Just watched the press conference with Tiger Woods, looking all pouty and apologetic for have endless amounts of glommy and poontang with a gaggle of hussies. I am not buying any of it. As you all know, golf has never been a big attraction for me, so why would I hang on every word that someone that wears pleated slacks. Anyway, I could only imagine what Rachel Uchitel (Lips McGilicutty) was doing during this press conference. She, who was his weekend sex toy, who reveled in Tiger’s salacious requests for constant sexual favors between golf holes. (Stop)

Who me?

Who wouldn’t want to be sitting on the bed with winner of the Gross Baboon of the Year Award, Loredana Jolie, fresh from a shower (at my request), to watch her reaction to his poor, little, horny me act for all the world to see. She must have been the recipient of Tiger when he was in a completely different head space, namely: “Get over here, bitch and bla bla bla”, while pulling her hair.

Enny, meeny, miney, mo…Jamie caught Tiger by…well…surely not by his toe. Poor, Jamie Jungers, new member of Mistresses Anonymous, who must have been spinning in her swivel chair, killing herself for not taking the money and running when she had the chance. Meanwhile, all the rest of the skanks he slept with have just chalked this affair up to “a day in the life of skankhood” and are onto their next victim.

Hollyscoop.com is reporting that a body language expert thinks he will cheat again. DUH…you can’t chance a Tiger’s stripes. Oh no I didn’t!

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4 Responses to “There’s Was A Tiger In His Tank”

  1. ericka says:

    One of the local LA stations was discussing it last night, and promised to have 'early coverage' of the Tiger statement beginning at 5am this morning. WHY?! Why do we need hours of pre and post-analysis for a guy who cheats, talking about his behavior? Times must have changed, because when I was little, my mom didn't even let my dad in the house. But because this guy plays good golf, we have to give him a mic and tv time? good lord!

  2. Tina (from Sydney) says:

    We even had the TV networks in Australia stop regular programs to broadcast Tigers pointless speech. Strange because our normal response to an Australian sex scandal is to go: "And I should care because…?"

    Although I like how things like this bring out the best in people I never know whether to like or dislike. Take for example Donald Trump. His response to the speech/and the marriage to Elin was :

    "It's so damaged and if the reports are just half true I would recommend Tiger just call it a bad experience, say bye-bye, go out and be a wonderful playboy and win tournaments and have a good life…this whole thing has got totally out of hand."

    I love Donald. This week.

  3. […] that award. Today, it's all about Joslyn James, from the quorum of bosomy broads who diddled with Tiger Woods' doodle…or is it doodled with his diddle. Actually, neither, if you go by the salacious texts […]

  4. […] that award. Today, it's all about Joslyn James, from the quorum of bosomy broads who diddled with Tiger Woods' doodle…or is it doodled with his diddle. Actually, neither, if you go by the salacious texts […]

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