“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Of the many newly established “holidays”, Earth Day is the little holiday that could. Yes, it has accomplished tons of global awareness since 1970, when it started, as a way to instill fear that the end of the world is nigh. Since then, the Earth Global Network successfully promotes the consciousness that we must all do our part to save the world. And hopefully meet Leonardo DiCaprio in the process. However, the term “Green” has become so overused, it’s almost passe. Even Vanity Fair has stopped doing their “green issue”, currently featuring Giselle Bunchen on the cover, Miss Green herself…as in plenty of do-ra-mi. Seems like saving the planet is so last season.

I suggest an Earth Day makeover. The word eco- conjures up people who wear Earth shoes and eat huckleberries sprinkled with granola. Every eco-friendly fashion segment on the news, looks like past collections of CP Shades, baggy and unflattering. Can’t you cut that fabric on the bias? Shouldn’t Jason Wu or Narciso Rodriquez design an outfit for Michelle…and fast! Something that shows those shoulders so it get’s plenty of press.

Next year is the 40th Anniversary of Earth Day. In order to achieve the intended goal of “a billion acts of green”, let’s promote a series of fashionable “clean” alternatives and perhaps we can accomplish this together.

1. Putting cork heels on all Christian Laboutin and Manolo Blahnik shoes.
2. Have Diane von Furstenberg design a hemp wrap dress, cause the ones on the market now are heinous.
3. Donna Karan should do one of her body hugging draped dresses with a matching shawl in bamboo, accessorized with wooden beads. Oh, she did that already? Well, reissue it then.
4. Marc Jacobs to design the must-have bag in the sacks that rice comes in that we drop all over Africa. (Recycling dear, still send the rice.)
5. The tents for New York Fashion Week should be made out of recycled burlap sacks. If it rains, well, then, the fashionistas would get to know what it’s like to live in Africa. A shared consciousness can only be compelling and a good thing.
6. Have several A-list celebrity couples get married in an non-obstructed field, wearing hemp outfits (Vera Wang, listen up) and allow unlimited paparazzi to garner gobs of press. This Earth Day, anything goes.
7. Put all the clothes that you have not worn in the past two years in a pile and send it to the needy. Yes, even that item that you swore would be perfect for the right occasion, which still has not come up.

I could go on, but I want to do my part for Earth Day 39, and cancel all my newspaper subscriptions in an effort to save trees. Happy now Arianna?