“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

SARAH PALIN TO BE VP TRUMP NOMINEE! Just Ask Breibart!

Since Donald Trump is acting like he’s already won, the Gross Baboon has begun secretly building his Trump Cabinet or, rather, as he prefers to call it, the Trump Wall Building Team. The Trump Cabinet will consist of such political luminaries as Omarosa, the Three Trump Kids (none of which voted for him in the New York Primary, whom I like to call Distinguished Members of the Lucky Sperm Club like their Dad), Meatloaf, that Professional Gambler Woman, Stinky (her name escapes me) and Foreign Policy Expert Dennis Rodman. This D-List Cabinet were to secretly meet at the new Trump Washington DC Hotel, but it’s so behind schedule that they will just have to SKYPE from home for now.

But with Sarah Palin as Trump Vice President we will surely have car-crash, rubber-necking, LuLu of a political summer, even more stupefying than the Republican Primaries. Imagine what a Trump and Palin White House would look like. It would resemble that weird, pretentious Capitol from the The Hunger Games. Cable TV News shows will slurp up all  the crap that the two pathological liars dole out.  Surely The Donald will look to drafting some bloviators from The Shows* to round out the Trump Cabinet.

* The Shows is the answer Trump gave on Meet The Press, when Chuck Todd asked, “Who advises you on military matters, Mr. Trump?” The Gross Baboon actually said, “I watch The Shows”.

Speaking of games from hunger, this Presidency would have an unprecedented  (and un-presidential) nightly game show on FOX NEWS Channel recapping the day’s events. Le Orange Blob will call the game show, The Art of the Deal. You know, it would be a perfect cross-marketing platform for his book, just like Mein Kampf was for Adolf Hitler. Hey, if the mustache fits….