“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

The expression, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results” must have come from someone who year after year made New Year’s resolutions that by January 6 could not live up to their best intentions. Guilty as charged. The expression “New Year, New You” makes me chuckle since the twain from the old person becoming a new one rarely meets. That’s probably when the expression, “People Don’t Change” started.… Read More »

  LAST FIVE MINUTES OF FAME is a novel novel by Abe Gurko, who stupidly believed Andy Warhol’s edict, “In the future everyone was going to be famous for fifteen minutes.” “It was 1973; I was short, fat, and four-eyed with no immediate hopes of having a life worth living. By no means was I a candidate for becoming a jet setter, and no foreseeable signs of hobnobbing with the lanky Mick Jagger, the groovy Penelope Tree or the beautiful, haunted Marianne Faithfull. Nope. Not from the barely upper middle class upbringing I was experiencing far from that madding crowd. Somehow the… Read More »

Did you hear the collective gasp of disbelief when the media reported you and Kanye West (of all people) were summoned to the gold version of a glass house? Please, do tell how your business meeting with @realDonaldTrump went the other day. I, like millions, am dying to know. … Read More »

Handsome Anderson Cooper no longer belongs on CNN, the Certainly Not News, or better yet, Crap Not News network. It has become a poor excuse for what a real news station should be.… Read More »

The message in the 1951 film, The Day The Earth Stood Still was a warning to Earthlings that they were in danger of destroying themselves. How prophetic. We have all experienced “The Day The Earth Stood Still”. There are only a handful of those days in one’s life that are vividly remembered as though they happened yesterday. Not just fond memories of a life worth living such as your first kiss or better yet, that first roll in the hay. I’m talking about monumentally, historic days that you live through. Days like September 11, 2001 or November 22, 1963 when John F. Kennedy was shot… Read More »

I mean…I’m gay and don’t spend as much time as Mike Pence does thinking about other gay people’s sex lives. So what’s crawled up his ass…literally and figuratively?… Read More »

For those of you who do not quite know what a Fotzy Balloon is, I figured this is a critical moment to explain it since the fotzy balloons are coming. So…What is FOTZY or FOTZ ? Etymology: What started out as a sarcastic reference to something, someone, well, anything, that “thinks” or acts like they are way too fascinating. It’s started as a sarcastic dishy slam: “Oh, they’re fascinating”. And evolved to… “Well, aren’t they fotzinating”. Which shrunk down to… “They are fotzy”. Which became… “Fotzy Balloons.” And finally… “Fotz”. Here are a few examples: Bing is fotz. What Madonna… Read More »

The Gays Against Guns – Los Angeles mission from now through the November election is to Name, Shame and Blame the #NRApuppets that take blood money from the NRA and cock block voting for sensible guns laws. … Read More »

Comme des Garcons captures the essence of today’s Manzie Report. If Ding Dong the king is dead, the long live the Queen who would wear any of the looks from today’s Manzie Report.… Read More »

I’ve been feeling a bit nostalgic, remembering when Sportwear International labeled me “The Truth-Teller” and included the Manzie Report in the Who’s Who Fashion Yearbook. … Read More »