Snooki Finally Lands A Man

Awww, Snooki gets her some.

After that final episode of Jersey Shore, watching Snooki dance alone on the boardwalk, having been rejected by that “white guy”, then snooking up to The Situation in the hot tub and totally losing all self-respect, who wouldn’t want to see the Snooks get her day in the sun with a man that is all about her? Well, I am happy to report that she has met a guy, no less a Guido, Emilio Antonio and that she is happy as a pig in shit…or something like that. “He is freaking banging. We’re the sexiest couple I have ever seen in my entire life so I am excited for everybody to see that,” says Snookerdoodle. Do you think they are hotter than this couple?

Who is hotter, the Snookis or Brangelina? Ummmm....

Oh, and by the way, had the stupid British tabloid News of the World been reading I MEAN…WHAT?!? they would have known that there was no truth to the rumor about the split between these two stunning Hollywood heavyweights. Hence they would not be getting embroiled in a law suit with Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. And if anyone thinks that Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler are an item…well…you are sad. That is a PR scam like I am sitting here.

These two are as together as oil and water.

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3 Responses to “Snooki Finally Lands A Man”

  1. elaine says:

    I think the snickerdoodle is the absolute worst. she cant even spell guido! and i bet she is happy as a pig in shit — the only thing missing is the shit.

  2. Tina says:

    I have no idea who Snooki is (am I missing much??) but I am going to use the saying "happy as a pig in shit" at every opportunity from now on. Thanks Abe!

  3. I just read your blog – thanks for writing. I just wanted to give you guys a heads up that it’s not showing correctly on my ipad. Anyway, I subscribed to the RSS feed on my PC, so thanks again!

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