The Hamptons…Am I Missing Something Here?

Each summer, flocks of people migrate east to The Hamptons. Like birds, they set up nests, arrange their beach wardrobes and busy themselves with all sorts of relaxing activities. Here is a typical day in the life of a Hamptonite:

  • sit in traffic
  • walk around ad nauseam
  • have cocktails or dinner at whatever has been suggested by the media
  • shop for things that otherwise would not be purchased
  • share bedrooms with total strangers…as a living situation, not a sexual encounter
  • congregate with people they otherwise despise
  • desperately try to meet a mate
  • pretend to be nice to potential mates
  • stand in line at the “hot spots” (also as suggested by the media)
  • oogle
  • sit in more traffic

Gee, am I missing something here? I was reading in today’s Page Six of the New York Post about the “bold face names” in the Hampton’s this July 4 weekend. Yikes. Scrape bottom much? AnnaLynne McCord hung out with “Twilight” star Kellan Lutz at the Axe Body Spray Lounge…the what? Later that night, “Real Housewives of New York City” star Alex McCord, and husband Simon Van Kempen, showed up at club Georgica in East Hampton. I mean…what…NOT?!? Wait, take a gander at this photo spread from Hamptons Magazine. Could you just plotz? And I mean that in the most rabbinical way. It’s like playing Jewish Geography. (Note: these captions are from Hamptons Magazine.)

OK, Anna Pacquin is a bold face...but the others? Fotz.

OK, Anna Paquin is a bold face name...but the others? Fotz.

All this to say, the rush to go to the Hamptons seems like an excercise in patience rather than a chill zone. This weekend I stayed in New York City, you could hear a pin drop, there were no lines in the movie theaters, restaurants were mellow, people were friendly. But back to the Hamptons. Since I was in such shock reading about the quasi-VIP-ness of the Hamptons, I needed to dig deeper, only to find out that another major bold face name had a party this weekend…none other than the other Real Housewives of New York City, Jill Zarin. And wait till you see who was there.

Well, the Zarin's of course. But you know how she loves and speaks of her important friends.

Well, the Zarin's of course. Now you know how she loves and speaks so highly of her very important friends. Catch these.

These people are so unimprtant, they don't even have a name.

The Zarin relatives. Where's the papparazzi?

No, this is not Solange Knowles.

Yes, her name is Solange and no, this is not Solange Knowles.

Oy.

Oy.

Oy, continued.

Oy, continued.

I wonder if these people feel thrilled to be at this yenteh fest.

I wonder if these people are thrilled to be at this yenteh fest.

You think the one on the left had a little work done? I personally love the one on the right's natural coloring.

You think the one on the left had a little work done? I personally love the one on the right's natural coloring.

You're kidding. The Liebermans were there? Gosh, I missed the party of the year.

You're kidding. The Liebermans were there? Gosh, I missed the party of the year.

Cute, they coordinated their outfits. Now I am really sobbing.

They coordinated their outfits. Now I am really sobbing.

I missed Ramona? I die. I die. D-I-E- bananas.

I missed Ramona? I die. I die. D-I-E...bananas.

4 Responses to “The Hamptons…Am I Missing Something Here?”

  1. alexandra says:

    I totally agree. You gotta take the good with the bad!
    Brilliant commentary and on the mark

  2. Robin says:

    I laughed at your comments. You are so right about the rush out to the Hamptons and the traffic and the b list celebrities. Glad that I stayed in the city this weekend.

  3. Ericka says:

    amen to staying in town this weekend. LA was fantastic. NO traffic. I live for holidays now, if only for the deserted streets!

  4. I just wanted to let you know how much my spouse and i appreciate all you've discussed to help improve the lives of folks in this theme. Through your blog, I've gone via simply a newbie to a skilled in the subject. It is a homage to your endeavours. Thanks

Leave a Reply to Ericka