“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Thought it might be fun to do a little update on a few of the recent Gross Baboon of the Year nominees. Starting with one of the grossest, Rush Limbaugh has suffered a setback due to his sheer gross baboon-ism (or it is baboon-hood). His media company took a hit as a result of his comments about Sandra Fluke, after calling her a slut and prostitute. Let’s face it, any woman that would continue to listen to him after saying something so foul about another woman who simply wants access to contraception needs to have her head examined…and other parts.

There isn’t a music awards show that Chris Brown doesn’t like. Problem is, when he is offstage he is still a major Gross Baboon. After the Billboard Music Awards, he was reportedly partying at some tacky nightclub in Vegas…so expected…where he was making moves on a group of girls. Once the champagne ran dry, the gals moved on. And he was surprised by this? Any money bet they were wearing Hootchie Mama dresses, like knock off Herve Leger in sherbert colors. Anyway, once these sophisticated mamas moved on, he approached the guys at the next table where the Hootchie Mamas were busy swilling down their booze and started getting angry and all up in the guys’ faces. Gee, Chris Brown and angry in the same sentence, now there’s a new one. Story ends with Brown getting escorted out of the club. Toodles Marlene.

Been wondering what our favorite underage wanna-be hooker is up to these days? Think no more. She is very busy. She washed a car yesterday and posed for this photo-op because…well…she can? Who doesn’t love a seventeen year old who ditches education for sticking her vadge out and looking forty? My hand is raised.

Haven’t seen or heard hide nor hair from this lunatic in quite some time. That is because her train-wreck political career has her in the hole for a bunch of money. Christine O’Donnell was recently in court denying that she owed her attorney money for work that he did on her behalf. Well, so much for her witchy woman ways. Jonathan Moseley, the sue-er said, “Christine has been the victim of many attacks upon her character and past actions. However, spiritually perhaps she was reaping what she has sown.” Oh no he didn’t. Snap.

Oh come now, you know you miss the nuts in the news like we had during the Republican presidential campaign. I literally miss Michele and Marcus Bachmann. When I heard that Michele went to Switzerland to get citizenship, my heart sank. Come now, how often am I going to go to Switzerland? Anyhoo, the Tea Party Teetotaler and Marcus “Gay? Nah” Bachmann were planning their retirement somewhere near Gstaad when the Tea Party nut bags went ape shit over her move of getting the hell out of dodge. The conservative blogs were pissed. Rep. Michele Bachmann insisted Thursday she’s withdrawing her Swiss citizenship to “make it perfectly clear” that she’s a “proud American citizen,” but intense criticism from the right may have forced her decision. Writers called her dual citizenship “treason,” “career-ending” and an “insult.”