“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

V is For Victory for Tubby…I mean…Voluminously Voluptuous Women. To be clear, V Magazine is doing a whole issue with plus-sized models. This is a major statement for the normally anorexic audience that reads most uber-fabulous glossies. Didn’t they all start the trend in vomiting and other such lovely feats of strength to look thin and gorgeous. As a past fatty, I am glad that V is willing to dedicate this much attention and resources to acknowledge this audience. I just wonder if it will be the token fat issue and never again will we see an unsightly bulge…except in V Man.

Mariah Carey showed off her real acting chops last night at the Palm Springs Film Festival when she went up to receive her award for Break Out Star in Precious. First of all, she broke out years ago when she tanked in Glitter…but whatever. You have to love her for getting up and doing her best Marilyn Monroe impersonation for the crowd. She was also doing an audition for the remake of Mahogany.

Speaking of Oscar worthy actresses, Jennifer Lopez, rather J.Lo, recently said about her role in El Cantante (?!?), “How dope would it have been if I would’ve won the Oscar and been here in my hospital bed (having just given birth to her twins) accepting the award? Thank you so much! I just want to thank the academy!” Consider them thanked. Bit of trivia: Joan Crawford won the Oscar for Mildred Pierce in 1945. So struck with the possibility of losing, she stayed home and said she was sick. When she realized she actually won, she welcomed the press at her home in jammies, with full foche.

Who does she think she is, Nancy Odell? Fotz.

Kate Gosselin’s redoux will give her the look she needs to get booked for the next Mop & Glo campaign. This look makes Britney Spears’ rat wigs when she went coo-koo after shaving her head look luxurious. Yikes. What’s next, Jon Gosselin doing the Slim-Fast ads and we get to watch the two of them in their own camp priming for new careers? I am breching.