“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Have you been following that lead story in the New York Post about the high-profile divorce of Swedish Countess (?) Marie Douglas-David and George Davis, a Connecticut-based, rich, old coot. He snagged a younger wife and now after seven years, she wants out. Now there’s an original story for you to make the headlines. Meanwhile, she is suing for a ga-jillion dollars since she has proclaimed that her $53,000 WEEKLY expenses are just not enough. I MEAN…WHAT?!? Would someone please shoot these two. Actually, I don’t know who to shoot first, them or the NY Post for giving them this much airtime. Who the hell cares about these people? First of all, they live in Connecticut. That in of itself is reason enough to ignore this story. I used to go to Boston University and I decided after my 2nd trip from New York that if they blew Connecticut off the map, it would only be a one and a half hour ride to visit my family. Not that I would have done so…but I am just making a point here that Connecticut is completely useless hence so are these two residents. And to make matters worse, the quasi-countess and the old goat get very specific about their sex life….make me brech (vomit in Yiddish.)

Are we still not in the midst of a massive recession? Is this woman as stupid as the AIG folks who took their bonus money and ran, refusing to give it back? Isn’t she concerned that some kind of postal worker is going to go postal on her? She should add more to her weekly expenses and hire full-time security if you ask me. It’s just shocking that people like them even exist and own mirrors. And she is a self-proclaimed Countess. What is a Countess? Someone who sleeps with Count Chocula? What purpose to they serve? What other royalty exists beside Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt and the Queen of England? And isn’t Swedish Countess an oxymoron? Isn’t that country socialist rendering her useless…ahhh, now I know why she lives in Connecticut. And this Davis guy, is a CEO. Haven’t we heard just about enough about CEOs at this time? And United Technologies…my how interesting. Hey kids, here’s the replacement for the Octomom story. Look, I hate to sound jaded, but how on Earth have we gotten to a place where people that you’d just as soon see dead be the lead story in the papers. At least the Madoff story involves intrigue and the destruction of thousands of lives not to mention the world economy. But this other story is about two gross idiots who should be gagged (not just a gag order from the court) but gagged. Yikes.