The 12 Steps of Fire Island (And Other Sober Summer Shares)

Jun 10, 2010Breaking Newzzz

I'll have an non-Long Island Ice Tea.

There is a heartwarming article in The New York Times Style section today about sober living at summer shares at the beach. It surely is admirable, I couldn’t do it. Give me the caw of a seagull and I need to order a Planter’s Punch…stat. I’ve dabbled in sobriety and have been known to say,” I used to be friends with Bill…” Anyhoo, to support these guys taking the healthy step to be sober and have a life…I give them a few steps to add to their already 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.:

The Other Steps of Fire Island

  1. We admitted we were powerless over staying at home in New York City on weekends—that our limited social lives had become unmanageable.
  2. Came to believe that the Power of the beach, sun and could restore us to sanity-ish.
  3. Made a decision to turn our pills and our small plastic baggies over to the care of God as we understood Him.
  4. Were entirely ready to have God remove all those bitchy, crystal Morning Party Queens from eye sight.
  5. Humbly asked Him to remove their Speedos.
  6. Made a list of all dealers we had stiffed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

You see where I am going. I just want to infuse a little reality in the 12 Steps. Hope this helps. Have a great summer boys.

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