“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

The past few days while Charlie Sheen has been monopolizing the airwaves, the happy homemakers, Sarah (Cross-Hair) Palin and Michele (Cross-Eyed) Bachmann have been doing their darndest to get some face time on the boob tube. Naturally, Fox News to the rescue, where Ms. Blabbermouth #1 has been spewing venomous insults about the Obama Administration, while her potential Presidential rival Ms. Blabbermouth #2 was doing the same. The slanderous comments such as “Gangster Government” is so racially motivated, that it makes John Galliano look like Mother Teresa. Now, these two bimbettes have synced up their talking points to the point… Read More »

I mean…I’m gay and don’t spend as much time as Mike Pence does thinking about other gay people’s sex lives. So what’s crawled up his ass…literally and figuratively?… Read More »

Gross Baboon of the Year Award kicks off awards season here at I Mean What. Hey, look, the Razzies started somewhere and surely not in a ballroom. … Read More »

Thought it might be fun to do a little update on a few of the recent Gross Baboon of the Year nominees: Rush, Chris, Courtney, Michele and Christine O…yes, that witchy woman.… Read More »

Tamara Scott says: Gay Marriage Leads To Eiffel Tower Marriage…as in not near it or under it…but TO IT!!! … Read More »

There is a fantastic article on Christwire.org called Is My Husband Gay? Clearly, this was written by a fag hag or Michele Bachmann. The slogan for Christwire is “Conservative Values for an Unsaved World”. Knowing that will help you digest the article that starts with: Right now in America there are over 2 million couples secretly struggling with homosexuality in their marriages. Are you one of them? Are you having intimacy issues? Are you suspicious about your husband’s late night activities? Or are you oblivious to a problem that could be putting your health and the livelihood of your family… Read More »

Perhaps I do not speak for everyone when mentioning drinking mushroom tea. Have you ever tried it? It is amazing. The reason it has been on my mind lately is because there must be something in the tea of the Tea Party. What exactly are the Tea Party-ers partying on? Surely these people are not stone cold sober. They have to be high on something, and life is not one of them. Reasons below: Michele Bachmann must be on Oxycontin or else she would have known, or had access to know, that the day she was bringing in the sheathes… Read More »

  Politicians are like an “IT” bag, and each season, there is a new “must-have”. This Presidential season is going to be the Chanel of wind bags. You find me one candidate for President of the United States, present company and President included, that is not prone to hypocrisy, and I will pay you money. Seriously, this is a one time offer, as I am not a betting man. No one on Earth can present the case for a candidate who does not talk out of both sides of their mouth and other orifices, in order to please the masses.… Read More »

Look out Iowa, here she comes, barreling down the pike for more heart felt aggrandizing. Yup, Sarah Palin is loading up that I’m Not Going Anywhere Tour Bus and hightailing across the plains to head Michele Bachmann off at the pass. (And her little dog, Marcus, too.) Sarah has tasted the fruits of our national landscape—no, not the edible ones from the Great Plains—rather, from the bully pulpit and media glare of the national stage… and she is hungry for more. Sarah Palin is a garden variety addict, maybe not with drugs, but she is clearly addicted to the spotlight.… Read More »

Poor Sarah Palin. Now that she has been marginalized and stuffed back in her Wasilla box, she is desperately trying to claw her way back into some sort of rhetorical relevance by spewing hatred on, what else, Fox News. Any money bet that she had her finger in the reality show deal for Beehive, the hair salon that is credited for her up-dos. The new show, Big Hair Alaska will air on TLC, the network that brought you Sarah Palin killing animals and winking. Coincidence? I don’t think so. The other thing is that she is on contract with Fox… Read More »