“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

An acting job that is. Thank goodness Lindsay finally got the role of Kim Gotti in the upcoming, maybe to be made, Gotti Family Jewels, or whatever the working title is. She has had more near career comebacks for someone that has not left the front pages of the tabloids for a decade. Frankly, the role of Linda Lovelace was more compelling, but I guess beggars can’t be choosers.… Read More »

The news that Lindsay Lohan dropped her last name to go by her first name only, is a move that I thoroughly support. Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Abe, and I, too, go by my first name only. My business card says Abe and my company’s name is Abe. In fact, I don’t think anyone knows my last name. I sure don’t. It’s sort of like Just Jack, in that I am a gay man, but unlike Just Jack, I am a real person, which makes me more like Cher and Madonna. Since childhood, I have gone… Read More »

While we are on the subject of angry jerks, why not give a little shout out to Michael Lohan, father of Lindsay, who at the end of the day, doesn’t stand a chance to get off without jail time, since the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. However her sentencing goes down, I really feel for Lindsay Lohan. I have worked with her and think she is really great. But with a father like Michael, who needs enemies. He should also get his stupd ass on a plan to either Haiti or Japan and make himself useful. He could… Read More »

We have had more Lindsay Lohan court appearance outfits than episodes of  Jersey Shore. If MTV would piece together the amount of footage and hearsay related to Lindsay Lohan’s court appearances, they would have a Roots-long docu-drama that would garner endless ratings because whether you love her or a hater…Lindsay Lohan is fascinating. Quite honestly, Lindsay should have taken my advice as mentioned in Crushable, when asked how she should handle her post jail comeback. But what do I know? FROM CRUSHABLE: As for her post-prison plans, Abe advised her to keep a low profile, attend theater classes or maybe… Read More »

Sung to the tune of Laverne & Shirley One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Shapiro, schlemazel, hasenfeffer incorporated. She’s gonna do it. Give her any chance, she’ll take it. Give her any rule, she’ll break it. She’s gonna make her dreams come true. Doin’ it her way. Will she go, won’t she go. I have a headache. Any way you slice it, the media is hanging on Lindsay Lohan‘s every move anxiously awaiting for her to speak. And just who she will she be spilling her guts to, besides her Twitter followers? Surely she has locked in some… Read More »

TMZ is reporting a sort of Chicken Little prophecy regarding the future of Lindsay Lohan. Her friends are very concerned that Linday’s partying is spiraling out of control and fear for her life. Well, whatever the case, I do hope that is not the case. Then again…who wouldn’t fall flat on their face in those ridiculous heels? Girl…Tory Burch flats for you.… Read More »

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLI8rWtU86M_i0&feature=player_embedded Ladies and gentlemen, and hypocrites of all ages. Step right up and peruse these images of Lindsay Lohan. You know you want to. You know you can’t resist looking, then taking the time to make comments that show much you really do care…though your words say otherwise. As we all know, actions speak louder than words. So, just to be clear, Lindsay is not “fugly”, on the contrary. Lindsay is not sad, on the contrary. And no this photo shoot was not a career “mistake”, on the contrary. For whatever reason, Lindsay Lohan is one of the most controversial… Read More »

Now I have seen and heard everything. Yesterday, Air Force 1 flew over New York City, really low, scaring the beJesus out of thousands of office workers downtown who were in eye shot of this troubling visual. Buildings on both sides of the Hudson River were evacuated and many thought they were doomed. Come to find out that Air Force 1 is like Lindsay Lohan, complete with publicist. The seemingly out of control airplane being followed by a fighter jet was in the midst of a photo op for Barak Obama’s plane. I…mean…what?!? A photo op? So now everyone and… Read More »

Taking bets on who will win Gross Baboon of the Year?… Read More »

Matthew McConaughey What? Anyone who is anyone knows that I Mean What has been a voice against celebrity designers. These Johnny Come Lately non Academy Award winning, or Emmy, or Tony, or any any award winners try their hand, rather, they sell their name to a schmatta peddler and take some dosh. Lindsay Lohan, the slew of Kardashians, heck even Sarah Jessica Parker threw her hat in the ring at Halston, and today the news is that Matthew McConaughey has entered the ring for a bout of utter nonsense. This is more than anyone should bare. And when I say… Read More »