“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Let us take a moment to observe the human species. You know, the mere mortals that plod along, making hay while the sun shines and other such honorable activities. Now, let’s take two such humans, and see how they spent their Christmas. This might shed some light on the condition we call human, while identifying the the difference between a good guy and a member of the “Lucky Sperm Club”. Our first human is Jasper Schuringa, a little known, rather, completely unknown film director wanna-be from Holland, who happened to be on that potentially doomed Delta flight from Amsterdam to… Read More »

There are so many maroons that capture the media’s attention and become overnight sensations. And when I say sensations, I don’t mean they are sensational by any means. “Sensation” is a homonym, and has more than one meaning. So when you see a picture of  Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, who are media sensations, for some ungodly reason, it’s not a stimulation of the senses (as per the dictionary), it is more like a weird anomaly. OK, class, let’s skip the English pop quiz and move on. My point is: how on Earth do so many nobodies become somebodies? Why… Read More »

Lindsay Lohan officially kisses her career goodbye.… Read More »

Finally, Meghan McCain and I can begin to agree to agree and to disagree.… Read More »

I would also like to know if Barneys has done what they did to those African-American kids to low-rent, mad, white trash. It might be worth an ask.… Read More »

Mitt “The Bully” Romney gave the commencement speech at Liberty University, a conservative, southern Christian temple of doom, I mean, learning. There he pontificated on the fact that marriage is between one man and one woman. Romney was in the right place though to vomit his blather. Liberty U. is in Lynchburg, Virginia, where the graduating class would surely enjoy a good lynching of gays given the chance. Give me liberty or give me death? I think the Liberties would prefer to see the death…of gays.… Read More »

Seems like whatever BP Oil did to close up the hole in the Gulf of Mexico a couple of summers ago did not take with Mel Gibson. Back then I wrote once BP capped the spill to use that same technique on Mel Gibson, when he would not shut up and ranted on and on. Well, perhaps BP knows oil wells but cannot contain Mel “The Nut” Gibson. How on Earth does Hollywood keep hiring this guy? Is there no other talent out there? The fact is, there is, and to support insane lunatics like Gibson is being equally responsible… Read More »

Naomi is going to join Kabbalah…again…and again…and… – PAGE SIX Lisa Marie wants you to send sunflowers to Michael Jackons’s grave. Um…can you just arrange for a delivery every week and charge it to Graceland. – D LISTED Matt Lauer is a horn dog and must attend Horndogs Anonymous meetings. Stat. Sounds like he did it with the Double-mint Twins. – RADAR I love Cate Blanchett and so proud of her for wearing Alexander McQueen’s dress..that he had selected for her from beyond. – NY MAGAZINE Known Gross Baboon, Rachel Uchitel is up to her usual tricks..being a trick to… Read More »

Thank goodness the train wreck that is High Society is off the air for now. Sure, like any good Samaritan, I rubber necked through the short season only because it was so shockingly wrong that you couldn’t NOT stop to watch…mouth dropped wide open. The season finale was filled with a lot of sobbing and more blather and utter nonsense than in episodes past. Mainly, a long ass ad campaign for Tinsley Mortimer‘s handbag line for Samantha Thavasa. Missing from the cluster fuck was douche-bag Jules Kirby. The CW Network must have finally edited her out once and for all… Read More »