“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

This political season, the media is making mountains out of molehills. Case in point, the supposed momentum of Rick “I HATE SEX” Santorum. Momentum schmomentum… and I use the term schmo-mentum literally here. This guy is such a dufus, that he actually thinks he has a chance. All of a sudden he has that Orange Republican Glow (ORG) about him as shown above. Clearly when a Republican is having a good day, they run to get a spray tan and there is no one in their camp to tell them that they look ridiculous. Cases in point: see below. So,… Read More »

Not trying to outdo Barbara Walters, but surely after seeing her choices for Ten Most Fascinating People, I have been advised–and well-advised at that–to create my own annual Ten Most Fotz-inating People since Walters’ choices have been so banal… kinda like the people that grace the pages of I Mean What?!? … Read More »

You cannot believe who is on Baba Wawa’s list for 2011. Fascinating? I call them Fotz-inating. (Etymology of the word Fotz: It started out as a sarcastic reference to something that is or someone that “thinks” they are fascinating. So, it went from, “Oh, you’re fascinating” to “You are fotzinating” to “fotzy balloons” to “fotzy” to the currently, most used…”fotz”.)… Read More »

Yesterday, Madam Palin suffered from hoof in mouth disease. Today she feels liberated. “You don’t need to be in office to effect positive change,” Sarah Palin said. We know girl, that is why you quit being the Governor of Alaska. So you can positively effect your pocketbook. She went on to say, “Hopefully, I can inspire others to know that you don’t need a title.” Who is she kidding? She is a title-aholic. From Miss Wassila to Mayor of Podunk to Governor of the Tundra, to Wanna-Be Vice-President and to in any minute now, Presidential hopeful. Sure she wants her… Read More »

The tide has turned for Sarah Palin. I recently said, “I don’t care how often Sarah Palin appears on Fox News, nor how disdainfully she speaks of our President while giving kudos to Donald “Orange” Trump for being the Birther-in-Chief, the fact remains that the wind is out of her sail and I couldn’t be happier. Michele Bachmann has stolen her thunder and she must be freaking out.” Boy, what a difference a weekend makes. That One Nation Tour Bus is kicking Michele and every Republican hopeful in the pants. Imagine the ego bloat that those two reality stars, Sarah… Read More »

Though there were a slew of fabulous dresses at Cannes this season, I hereby take credit for the fact that not one single star at Cannes wore a one shoulder dress in response to my commentary and coverage of the Costume Institute Gala. Well, correction. There were a couple of them but not worn by stars, so they don’t count—times two. Honestly, who cares about some ubiquitous Israeli socialite, or Miss Universe, for that matter. They both look like they are off to a Bar Mitzvah at Leonard’s of Great Neck. (You know I love that reference.) After what clearly… Read More »

Ding Dong! The Witch is dead. Which old Witch? The Wicked Witch! Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead. Wake up – sleepy head, rub your eyes, get out of bed. Wake up, the Wicked Witch is dead. She’s gone where the goblins go, Below – below – below. Yo-ho, let’s open up and sing and ring the bells out. Ding Dong’ the merry-oh, sing it high, sing it low. Let them know The Wicked Witch is dead! Please follow us on Twitter.com/imeanwhat or Like Us on Facebook.… Read More »

Remember Joey Lawrence from Blossom? Yes, he was a cutie but now, look at him. Dyed black hair with shoe polish and clearly desperate for a paying gig. Joey, (out of obscurity), came to the defense of  Donald “Orange” Trump about how right he is about stuff. Well, clearly, the Celebrity Apprentice has been renewed for 3 seasons, and Donald Trump is NOT going to run for President and Joey Lawrence will be in the next season’s line-up. If I am wrong, sue me, but wanna bet?… Read More »

There are certain things that I do not need to know, like who designed Kate Walsh‘s jewelry when she is on some red carpet. Well, or anyone’s jewelry on a red carpet come to think of it. Sure. I like to know who designed the dresses, but the jewelry? Who cares? It’s not like the TV viewing audience is running to Google Neil Lane and ordering the diamond encrusted emerald earrings. For the most part, that information is blather. In this age of celebrity hounding, there’s way too much information out there and it is really getting nauseating. It makes… Read More »

The film, The Social Network has forced Mark Zuckerberg to come out of the shadows, rather, his computer screen. Since then, it seems that Facebook, which I used to like, has evolved quickly into a mass marketing machine. I am accosted with invitations to utter nonsense making my email inbox seem like a spam free zone, which it is not. Gone are the good old days when long-lost eighth grade classmates would stalk me now that that they see I am no longer a fatso however they are. We see Mark Zuckerberg everywhere: Dinners, power meetings with President Obama or… Read More »