“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

We all think that our lives are meant for the pages of a book. Come on…admit it. And if you can’t admit that, then surely you have considered your workplace as the setting for a hilarious sit-com. Don’t lie to me. We all have delusions of grandeur and relax, you are not alone. I read Eat, Pray, Love after everyone else did, that summer when those three words were all you heard. That’s the problem with hype, Oprah-based or otherwise. By the time everyone raves about a book, movie or TV show, you get there and wonder…what’s the big deal?… Read More »

Not that I didn’t predict this, but Mel Gibson has put the final nail in his own coffin…and all I can say is, “Toodles, you psychotic nut bag”. Listening to the chilling tape of Mel ranting to the mother of his newest baby, whom he has recently clocked in the jaw, I agree with Oksana Grigorieva when she says to him that he needs medication. However, the only the medication I would prescribe to that anti-semite is arsenic…to put him out of his misery once and for all. The pity here is that Hollywood has continued to go back to… Read More »

It is not often that I go to a gay wedding…you can count them on one hand. Not that there’s anything wrong with it. The idea of gay marriage resonates more for the gay community at large than for me, though I support it wholeheartedly. Just not sure whether it is something for everyone. Not being a bigot here, I believe the same holds true for straight marriage as well. All that aside, my friends Annie Washburn and Emily Giske tied the knot yesterday in the loveliest setting on Cape Cod…Provincetown to be exact…duh. But it was moving and sweet,… Read More »

Ali and Lindsay Lohan arrived at the Mercer. I actually look forward to when these two do a photo shoot together. – JUST JARED Kathy Griffin is still talking about her under-interesting bedazzled hoo-ha. Like how long ago did you do that? Like I believe those things stayed on? Fotz. – PAGE SIX Style.com agrees with my choice for best dressed at the Costume Institute. Calvin Klein’s simple elegance ruled. – STYLE.COM The biggest loser her was the husband since the Rasha Spindel lost the lbs and moved on to eating other kinds of things. Oh no I didn’t. -… Read More »

I love Jessica…arrest me. She bumped into her ex…this is news? My birthday is news! – JUST JARED Courtney Loves says ugly girls are better poontang. OK… – PAGE SIX Whatever Lola wants…which one is Lola? Tom Cruise or Katie Holmes? – POP CRUNCH Anna Wintour cuts the rug with P. Diddy after the Costume Ball. – RAP-UP Donny Osmond’s poster was sued as a….you won’t believe it. Read this. – D LISTED… Read More »

This is the least interesting update on the planet Earth. Earlier I wrote about the pending homosexual announcement of a major star on the cover of People magazine. Well, TMZ, (Lord knows they are the go-to site for realness) is claiming that they have solved the mystery and the person coming out of the closet is none other than…drum roll please…Chely Wright. Who? Chely Wright. Who? Chely Wright. You are kidding me that someone with such limited national appeal is making this tragic, overblown PR scam. Chely Whatever-Her-Name-Is is a friggen country western singer. Now, if she was coming out… Read More »

Has the rose fallen off the bloom? These new episodes of Jersey Shore Meets Miami better be hilare. – NY DAILY NEWS Michael Lohan needs to get out of the public eye and skank off into the sunset and away from Lindsay and Ali. Meanwhile where is Orange Oprah in all of this? – US MAGAZINE Just had to share this photo that my assistant Ryan has posted on his Facebook wall of…yes…that is Britney Spears. – FACEBOOK Thank you Cathy Horyn from The New York Times, On The Runway, for sharing this gem. – YOU TUBE In other Lindsay… Read More »

Real Housewives of Saks Fifth Avenue…Yikes. – GAWKER Vera Wang to bring bridezillas to the masses. – NY MAGAZINE Oprah says FOTZ! – PEOPLE Save Kate? Is George Lopez searching for ratings now that he is getting bounced to midnight from Conan O’Brien? Save Kate Gosselin? From herself.  – JUST JARED PETA is freaked about the way Kim Kardashian is holding this cat. Oy, what was she thinking? – D LISTED… Read More »

What has become of us? Who are we? Has our nation’s pastime become golf? Is baseball passe? So last season? The brand that is golf is having such a hey day, that I actually started wearing my old Izod shirts again. Somebody help me. Take me to a Golfers Anonymous meeting. Surely they exist. There are 12 Step meetings for everything on Earth (i.e., Mistresses Anonymous and Horndogs Anonymous). Since the Tiger Woods and His Band of Merry Hookers fiasco, we have become obsessed with the minutia of the sport and his penis. It is the cover story of every… Read More »

That this skank Joslyn James was boo-hooing on Madam Gloria Allred’s shoulder one day before Tiger Woods returned to the green and then today is resuming her hooker/porn actress career is beyond. -NY POST The judges on Dancing with the Stars wanna boot Kate Gosselin off because they saw this photo. -LIFELINE LIVE I can’t believe that Oprah is giving Rielle Hunter the stage. UGH! -Huffington Post Whitney Houston has to cancel the first date of her European tour. Oy?!? -BBC NEWS Pharoh showed his collection at Pakistan Fashion Week. -Huffington Post Are you on Twitter? Click here to follow… Read More »