“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Q: What is hair? A: Hair is probably the most complicated issue of our time. Perhaps second to universal health care…but an issue of the highest, most unprecedented order. Oh, yeah, and then there’s world peace. On second thought, hair is the number one issue for mankind and those other colossal issues follow suit. How can I say that? Well, admit it. You spend more time thinking about your hair than Obama’s heath care plan OR the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq combined. Therefore…hair wins…horrendous as that sounds. As a follow up to IMW’s popular The Not Best Dressed List,… Read More »

“He’s 89 years old, so of course he could be very right about the end of the world being on May 21. Or very close to that.” So said Jon Stewart on Harold Camping, the Christian radio kook on his claim that then end of the world is nigh, actually today. As in any minute now. Sure wish I had a couple of Percocets to wash down with my coffee and then slink into a Calgon bath to be taken away, finally, once and for all. The idea that this was the last day on Earth and I am still… Read More »

I have been feeling very nostalgic lately. We are living in a time of war, poverty, obesity, adultery, mediocrity, obsession with celebrity, and the Tea Party. It reminds me of that scene in The Ten Commandments when Moses comes down with the tablets only to find the “chosen people” have completely run amuck. Donald Trump is like that Edward G. Robinson character, hyping up the flock to pray to the golden calf, a.k.a. Kim Kardashian. Who have we become? Why are like sheep to the slaughter of our own best intentions? Eh, this is not for now, but I did… Read More »

You know, between Arnold Schwarzenegger and this French slob, Dominique Strauss-Kahn, I am not sure who deserves the Gross Baboon of the Year Award. Maybe it is a tie. Although this banking douche-bag deserves all the scrutiny and negative publicity he is getting (hey, I love Carla Bruni),  the award goes to Arnold Schwarzenegger. What a gross, wrinkly disgusting, baboon. First of all, I really like Maria Shriver, who did more for the women’s movement over the past few years since becoming the Governator (could you hate an expression more?)’s wife. It is upsetting to know that she knew all… Read More »

In light of the release of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s baby mamma’s photo today, we here at IMW were sitting around pondering the phenomenon of celebrities cheating down rather than cheating up. Actually, unless you have other for instances, the only celebrity to actually cheat up–and I mean in a big way–was Brad Pitt to Angelina Jolie from Jennifer Aniston. Besides that, the trend, for lack of a better word, is for the celebrity to troll around for haggy poontang and getting it. Here are a few such examples.   Please follow us on Twitter.com/imeanwhat or Like Us on Facebook.… Read More »

  “After considerable deliberation and reflection, I have decided not to pursue the office of the Presidency.” What a crock of hooey. Just want to share with you what I said right away about this blowhard: (MARCH 31, 2011) – Anyone that cannot see that Donald Trump is taking the birther stance in regards to Barack Obama does not understand the politics of the Nielsen Ratings. Donald Trump has no interest whatsoever in becoming President of the United States. The reason why the The “Orange” Donald is yammering about his possible candidacy is strictly to promote Celebrity Apprentice. Forget about… Read More »

Though there were a slew of fabulous dresses at Cannes this season, I hereby take credit for the fact that not one single star at Cannes wore a one shoulder dress in response to my commentary and coverage of the Costume Institute Gala. Well, correction. There were a couple of them but not worn by stars, so they don’t count—times two. Honestly, who cares about some ubiquitous Israeli socialite, or Miss Universe, for that matter. They both look like they are off to a Bar Mitzvah at Leonard’s of Great Neck. (You know I love that reference.) After what clearly… Read More »

The sad truth is that the social media landscape has become overpopulated with social media climbers. What started out as a perfectly communal idea, well, rating chicks on college campuses, but beyond that, keeping in touch with friends and making new ones, has turned into a massive mass marketing mess. Sprinkle that with a slew of celebrities spewing nonsense, and what is happening is something I call “visual white noise”. Facebook and Twitter are dissolving into one long ad roll. There is no doubt that CBS-TV is hoping that Ashton Kutcher will suck up to his millions of Twitter followers,… Read More »

Prom: Short for promenade, which refers to when guests march around at the beginning of a ball or cotillion. Proms took their cue from the exclusive debutante balls; so what we now refer to and obsess on as Prom is in essence a down-market version of the Crillon Ball of Paris. Teen Prom, Adult Prom, both concepts elude me. Seems as though there is this rising trend in Adult Proms, which they are referring to as Do-Overs. Since I did not go to my high school prom (*see below), I guess there is nothing for me to do-over. And if… Read More »

The news that Patrick Robinson was fired last week from the Gap was not that shocking. The Gap has had a few cute moments since Patrick arrived on the scene, but consistency was lacking. You don’t need me to ramble on and on about what did not work during his reign, but I am happy to suggest a few key bits that should be taken under serious consideration if they really want to revitalize the brand. First things first let us identify the key times that we “fall into the Gap” with full intention, because Lord knows, when you are… Read More »