“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Come 2012, if Sarah Palin has her druthers, the White House will once again be just that, white. But not just white, we’re talkin’ really, really white. Alaska snow white. Pre-Lyndon B. Johnson Civil Rights Movement white. Her first day in office she will make some cockadoodle proclamation, “We need a woman in the White House to clean up the mess of that last administration.” Can’t you just hear it now? The irony will be that a white woman is cleaning up after black people. I wonder if she will do windows. The new First Family will be very innovative.… Read More »

Will Donald Trump Offer Sarah Palin her last job ever as Vice President?… Read More »

The gloves are off and the cat fight begins between Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann, the Doublemint Twins of the Tea Party. Neither zealot has officially entered the race yet, but they are already taking jabs at each other through their hired mouth pieces. What is more brilliant than that? Brilliant because as I predicted months ago, there will be no harmony with this duet. It is similar to the similarities of Bryce Dallas Howard and Jessica Chastain. It is hard to tell them apart, too. In March, when the Charlie Sheen meltdown was monopolizing the airwaves, I wrote: The… Read More »

The past few days while Charlie Sheen has been monopolizing the airwaves, the happy homemakers, Sarah (Cross-Hair) Palin and Michele (Cross-Eyed) Bachmann have been doing their darndest to get some face time on the boob tube. Naturally, Fox News to the rescue, where Ms. Blabbermouth #1 has been spewing venomous insults about the Obama Administration, while her potential Presidential rival Ms. Blabbermouth #2 was doing the same. The slanderous comments such as “Gangster Government” is so racially motivated, that it makes John Galliano look like Mother Teresa. Now, these two bimbettes have synced up their talking points to the point… Read More »

What ever happened to the age of innocence when we feared a George Orwellian future? When George W. Bush Jr. was in power, his Big Brotherness proved Orwell’s predictions had come true. Now, just a couple years later, we have something far greater to fear than George Bush, which is a Sarah Palin White House based on the film The Truman Show. You think that’s not possible? With Sarah Palin and Bristol Palin the new stars of reality television, you don’t think that sick bitch would not want to chronicle her years in the White House for ego sake alone?… Read More »

No, I will not be watching Sarah Palin’s Alaska, a.k.a The Real Housfrau of Wasilla tonight. Will you? Let’s face it, those who tune into watch that down-market, animal killer will surely be enthralled with her phony “Gotcha (wink) Crap” . In a decidedly calculated move to engage the lowest common denominator of television viewers, Sarah Palin is doing a reality show while her promiscuous daughter Bristol Palin continues (not sure how) to flash her tits on Dancing With The Stars. This is all part of the diabolical plot to have the clueless American public fall madly in love with… Read More »

Let it be said that I Mean…What?!? called the Sarah Palin reality television show on June 12, 2009. So it was written, and so it shall be done. Today the Huffington Post reports that Sarah Palin and Mark Burnett are in cahoots with each other to bring you more endless nonsense from Wasilla. Here’s my next prediction, Mark Burnett becomes the leading campaign adviser for Sarah. This reality show will be the vehicle to slam her into the White House in 2016. Well, surely not 2012. I don’t care how many Tea Parties she hosts. And if I am right…which… Read More »

Meghan McCain, that quirky Republican daughter of the homophobic flip-flopper Senator John (yellow teeth) McCain…well…that is clearly why he lost the election…has made a vow to help “kick Obama‘s ass out of the White House”. Excuse me, but the language that these Republican women are using about our President even give rappers pause. Michelle Bachmann, Sarah Palin, Christine O’Donnell and now Megan McCain have gotten all Suge Knight on the Obama Administration and I am drawing a line in the sand. Megan and these other ladies (I use the term loosely) say the most inappropriate things, so I hereby declare… Read More »

Move over Marc Jacobs, Brandon Maxwell and Raf Simmons because the KKK debuts its ready-to-wear collection @NYFW. Will Anna Wintour sit front row? The White House has requested front row seats for Melania Trump, while Ivanka Kushner has refused to attend in solidarity with her Jewish husband, Jared, the nebbish.… Read More »

It’s hard to find humor in tragedy, especially before any healing has taken hold. But humor has always been my armor, my solace, my Woobie since I was a toddler and I needed to find my funny fast. I was crestfallen, felt so helpless and numb to the news of the day, which would go on to becoming a seminal moment. … Read More »