“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Look, I am by no means a prude, but have you seen the new campaign to promote the Miss USA pageant? Donlad Trump‘s properties have just had a major Victoria’s Secret overhaul. The marketing campaign just launched and all 51 contestants have traded in their pageant hair and cornball, prom gowns for that skanky, Gross Baboon of the Year look that all of Tiger Woods‘ skanks share. Now, I am all for racy, but didn’t Carrie Prejean…nutbag hypocrite extraordinaire…get chastised for being a skank? Will this new pageant action shift the talent portion of the evening? Will we see Fellatio?… Read More »

What is the deal with Vanity Fair‘s obsession with Tiger Woods and his merry band of hookers? The new issue, on stands today, continues its coverage of the Gross Baboons that brought down America’s most boring sports superstar. The Temptation of Tiger Woods, Part Two digs deeper into this less-than-riveting story, which is sooo yesterday’s breakfast. Surely I am not alone when scratching my head wondering why Vanity Fair, my favorite (or used to be favorite) magazine would spend their resources and time on something that could have lived on thier blog and save the printed pages for more compelling… Read More »

Thank goodness the train wreck that is High Society is off the air for now. Sure, like any good Samaritan, I rubber necked through the short season only because it was so shockingly wrong that you couldn’t NOT stop to watch…mouth dropped wide open. The season finale was filled with a lot of sobbing and more blather and utter nonsense than in episodes past. Mainly, a long ass ad campaign for Tinsley Mortimer‘s handbag line for Samantha Thavasa. Missing from the cluster fuck was douche-bag Jules Kirby. The CW Network must have finally edited her out once and for all… Read More »

Help…I am drowning in a pool schmattas designed by celebrities. Someone throw me a line…and not a line designed by a celebrity. Unless you have been living under a rock, you would have noticed that a slew of celebrities have taken to multitasking, branding, adding layers to their illustrious careers by cultivating their secret childhood fantasies of becoming fashion designers. Literally every week I report on another astonishing member of this new clan of celebrities, who we can lovingly call brand whores. Every entertainment management firm is out there selling their talent to anyone that will pay anything, in an… Read More »

Harvey Fierstein on Grindr? Yet another reason to not sign up for these gay easy hook up things. – PEREZ HILTON The Gross Baboons are getting a reality show. Michelle Bombshell McGee and Jamie Jungers are on tap to sleep their way to the middle. – TMZ Here we have a case where Steven Seagal is a cross between Gross Baboon and a Horndogs Anonymous member. – E ONLINE… Read More »

Pat O’Brien came back from obscurity to Coachella dressed as a Manzie (click the Manzie image on the right column). – DLISTED Reality stars getting bouquoo bucks for showing up to nightclubs. So glad my clubbing era stopped when clubs mattered (Studio 54, The Saint). – GAWKER Marc Jacobs to open Book Marc, a bookstore on Bleeker Street in NYC, where a bookstore used to be. Branding baby.  – RACKED The war of the roses, well, the socials, rages on between Devorah Rose and Tinsley Mortimer. Who will win? – PAGE SIX Grace Jones thinks Lady Gaga is a fotz.… Read More »

Here’s a love triangle that’s enough to make anyone brech, a.k.a. vomit in Yiddish. The news that Larry King was having an affair with his wife’s younger sister, Shannon Engemann, is not only too much information (TMI), but it is the kind of  information that boggles the mind. Once I read the allegation from Shawn Southwick (King’s wife of 13 years) my imagination ran wild as to how that dalliance came to fruition in the first place. If all this is true, here’s what we need to know: Did Shannon come on to him? Brech. Did Larry come onto Shannon?… Read More »

Michelle Bombshell McGee sobbed an apology to Sandra Bullock on Australia TV. – US MAGAZINE Amy Winehouse’s breasts checked into rehab. – PEOPLE Come on…did you think this would last? Paris Hilton and Duug Reinhardt forever? Fotz. – PAGE SIX Skank of the Year, Ashley Dupre proves my point that illicit sex garners you a media career. – NY DAILY NEWS Now here’s a contest that no one wins…dumbest Twitter followers on Earth. – HUFFINGTON POST… Read More »

What has become of us? Who are we? Has our nation’s pastime become golf? Is baseball passe? So last season? The brand that is golf is having such a hey day, that I actually started wearing my old Izod shirts again. Somebody help me. Take me to a Golfers Anonymous meeting. Surely they exist. There are 12 Step meetings for everything on Earth (i.e., Mistresses Anonymous and Horndogs Anonymous). Since the Tiger Woods and His Band of Merry Hookers fiasco, we have become obsessed with the minutia of the sport and his penis. It is the cover story of every… Read More »

Jersey Shore Season 2 is filming at the Jersey Shore after all. Yeah, they started in Miami. But any money bet this thing is scripted now, and Snooki says, while fist bumping, “Fuck Miami, let’s go back to the Jersey shore where they get us.” – MTV Stop what you are doing and watch this…period. -YOU TUBE Frankly, I like these two. Seems like I am alone. Lindsay Lohan and Mischa Barton were partying hearty at the Nylon magazine’s 11 anniversary party other night. – NY DAILY NEWS Do you recognize this Gross Baboon, or skank…which ever you prefer? She… Read More »