“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

In what now turned out to be a tactical move by UCLA student Alexandra Wallace, the stupid co-ed will be swimming up to Hugh Hefner in the coming weeks to discuss being featured in Playboy. No, it is not true, but you’d think that this girl, photographed here like a Hooter, had visions of grandeur all along, from when her breasts first bloomed as fully as they are? Why else go to UCLA, steps away from the Playboy Mansion? Her quick side step out of college proves that she is going to pull a Snooki and start taking money to… Read More »

Here is a tidbit that must be pointed out. Elie Tahari is being sued by an anti-Semite for having to work in New Jersey and becoming massively depressed. First of all, I am from New Jersey and I understand depression, but blame your parents not your boss. Read and weep in nymag.com… Read More »

Last season I reviewed Jersey Shore and somehow this season’s review is eerily similar. Could it be because nothing has really changed besides their location? The Return to the Jersey Shore is actually a better title for season three. Do we even call them seasons? They are more like outings. Perhaps even a series of mini-series. Jersey Shore is like Roots without the class. In Thursday night’s season opener, we met an even tackier version of Snooki, her friend Deena. What can I say besides Jersey Shore is chock-full of cursing chubby people. OK, so The Situation has good abs,… Read More »

The Daily Beast features the Best of Jersey TV today. Sure, Jersey Shore, The Real Housewives of New Jersey and Jerseylicious, are fan favorites, but what do these annoying people do to represent the many other Jersey residents that are not Guidos and Guidettes? Let me tell you first hand….NOTHING. Rather than focus on the wonderful people who hail from New Jersey like Meryl Streep, Count Basie and Bruce Springsteen, we are now hyper focused on the Goombas like Snooki, Teresa Guidice and The Situation. A permanent blemish has scarred the Garden State. We can identify the turning point when… Read More »

Remember when Alec Baldwin allegedly threatened to leave the United States if George Bush Jr. got elected in 2000? I believe Barbra Streisand said something similar. Clearly they never left but that’s not why I am bringing this up. Rather, I am dumb struck watching and listening to the horrendous crop of candidates running for Senate and Congress. The reality that our country might be taking the kind of turn to the right…and I mean far right….I mean so far right that I can not breathe…is making me rethink living here. I lived in Los Angeles during 9-11 and it… Read More »

Eric Wilson from The New York Times Style did a great piece on an experiment called Six Items Or Less a while back. Heidi Hackemer, an advertising executive and total groovy chic, decided to limit her wardrobe to six pieces, not including undergarments, accessories and workout gear for an entire month. She created a website and challenged friends to join her and within no time 250 people participated in the experiment, which was a massive success in that it was picked up by the mainstream media. Six Items or Less became a statement on where we are in relation to… Read More »

Finally, men can come out of the closet…and we are not talking about their sexuality here, rather, that men can openly say they use cosmetics and still maintain their butchness…ish. The New York Times Style section has an article about the rapidly growing market of cosmetics created exclusively for men. I love that the evolution of man boils down to his desire to maintain his youth and beauty. Not that there’s anything wrong with it. On the contrary. When men became admitted metrosexuals…though I prefer the term Manzies for this purpose…all bets were off. Suddenly, “straight” men were allowed to… Read More »

Now that’s a coupling made in heaven. One desperate, unwed, teen mother, Bristol Palin, who uses the media to compete with her skanky ex-baby daddy, Levi Johnston, coupled with The Situation, a Staten Island goombah who is the most talked about character second to Snooki from MTV’s Jersey Shore. Coupling? Yes…because they will both be on Dancing With The Stars. Well, they won’t be dancing with each other…but trust me…we will see plenty of paparazzi shots of those two leaving the DWTS studio. So, what ever happened to Bristol Palin’s public relations business? Guess she decided to become her own… Read More »

Nothing is garnering more media attention than Fashion’s Night Out. Not the Oscars, the MTV Music Awards, New York Fashion Week, Snooki. Nothing.  When we look at what drove Anna Wintour to devise one of the greatest marketing plans on Earth, we see at the core, a beautiful, well-intended, generous, spirited gem of an idea. “Bring people back to the stores.” Funny, that when George Bush said the same thing after 9-11, that people should just “Go Shopping”, it was met with mixed emotions. Actually, Democrats were apoplectic. But if you think about it…it was a good idea. When is… Read More »

After a very heavy weekend of serious issues hanging over our heads…Ground Zero + Mosque = Nightmare, let’s take a respite from hard news. Today the airwaves are filled with a bunch of nobodies. In light of our failing economy, endless wars, catastrophe in Pakistan, we could use a dose of mindless blather. No? Let’s see who rates as major nobodies. Follow I Mean…What?!? on Twitter.… Read More »