“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Page Six supports my Betty White Must Co-Host Emmy Awards Campaign. – PAGE SIX People were kvetching about Julie Andrews one woman show. Leave her alone. What do you want her to do…climb every mountain? She’s 74 years old.  – BILLBOARD Nelly is getting hot in here…as in Macy’s…signing Apple Bottom Jeans. – C & D Anne Hathaway’s boyfriend sounds like a frat boy. She surely can pick ‘em. – POP EATER Elena Kagan…one for the Gipper!!! – NY MAGAZINE… Read More »

Why on Earth would Rihanna take 30 grand for just sitting at a club. What is she…A Jersey Shore hag now? Yikes. – DIGITAL SPY Lena Horne…rest in peace. – HUFFINGTON POST Nordstom’s Crack is opening in New York City tomorrow. Looks more like Ross For Less. Just what we need, more downmarket marketing. Yikes. – WWD Christina Aguilera and Leona Lewis to tour this summer. That is hot. Period. – THAT GRAPE JUICE Proving my mom’s philosophy that “there is a cover for every pot” and in this case for every crack. – D LISTED Click here to follow… Read More »

Ali and Lindsay Lohan arrived at the Mercer. I actually look forward to when these two do a photo shoot together. – JUST JARED Kathy Griffin is still talking about her under-interesting bedazzled hoo-ha. Like how long ago did you do that? Like I believe those things stayed on? Fotz. – PAGE SIX Style.com agrees with my choice for best dressed at the Costume Institute. Calvin Klein’s simple elegance ruled. – STYLE.COM The biggest loser her was the husband since the Rasha Spindel lost the lbs and moved on to eating other kinds of things. Oh no I didn’t. -… Read More »

Would you sleep with this man? George Rekers, anti-gay zealot, apparently has to pay little boys to massage his….I am just grossed out. – GAWKER So, Lady Gaga wrote Telephone for Britney Spears originally. Now, she is wearing royal underwear and dogging of everyone. – DAILY MAIL The NY Times asks if Michelle Obama can make a designer a star. I say not because the only star in that scenario…is her. – NY TIMES STYLE The New York Times referred to Mick Jagger as a wizened man. Ouch. – NY TIMES STYLE Michael Jackson…gay…not gay…rest in peace and done. –… Read More »

Mark Sanchez did the worst thing on Earth yesterday by telling the media that he is NOT dating Jamie-Lynn Sigler, rather, they were both compensated to attend an event, met there, and simply got along. Well, maybe not the worst thing on Earth, seeing that the Gulf Oil spill has taken the top spot, but for the reason of admitting to the media that you were paid to attend an event. And I quote: “I met her at an event at the Tribeca Film Festival, and we were both compensated for being there and both happened to be in the… Read More »

Lindsay parties with her bodyguard. So? They must spend enough time together since the media will not leave her alone. – PAGE SIX Underage Bristol Palin out at 1 OAK, a nightclub for virgins. – NY DAILY NEWS Chaz Bono is officially a boy. – TMZ Justin Bieber has lesbian hair. Check out this site: Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber. Rachel Uchitel, Gross Baboon nominee, is still in the press for reasons proving her gross babooniness. – D LISTED Click here to follow I MEAN…WHAT?!? on Twitter.… Read More »

Do you ever stop to wonder how on Earth all these tacky, low-rent people have managed to claw their way into the media and take up so much of our time these days? Look no further than your mirror. What you will see there is one of the reasons that Gross Baboons have even entered the zeitgeist. It is because of you and me (or is it I) that there is even a need for the Annual Gross Baboon of the Year Award (to be held during the next awards season). We have glorified the lowest common denominator of humans.… Read More »

I love Jessica…arrest me. She bumped into her ex…this is news? My birthday is news! – JUST JARED Courtney Loves says ugly girls are better poontang. OK… – PAGE SIX Whatever Lola wants…which one is Lola? Tom Cruise or Katie Holmes? – POP CRUNCH Anna Wintour cuts the rug with P. Diddy after the Costume Ball. – RAP-UP Donny Osmond’s poster was sued as a….you won’t believe it. Read this. – D LISTED… Read More »

Did you ever Google yourself? And while you were at it, look up who else shares your birthday? Stop judging me. It’s my birthday, as well as George Clooney, Gabourey Sidibe, Willie Mays, Sigmund Freud, Orson Welles, and Rudolph Valentino’s. I love the company I keep. Since I live in my own head, here’s is a scene from my birthday dinner party. INT. GEORGE CLOONEY’S DINING ROOM – NIGHT GEORGE: Let’s face it, people born on May 6th are amazing. RUDOLPH: My mother used to tell me that all the time. SIGMUND: When did your obsession with MOTHER begin? RUDOLPH:… Read More »

Awww…Shawn and LAarry King are staying together after all to make beautiful music and prune-tang. – TMZ Miley Cyrus “Can’t be Tamed”…and really…why should she? – HUFFINGTON POST Lady Gaga and Muccia Prada chit chatted…though I hear that the Gagster barely came out of her dressing room all night. – NY MAGAZINE Denzel Washington was kind of a snob at the Tony Awards press junket. He was overheard saying about the nomination, “I’ve had better and I’m sure, I’ll have worse”. Ke$sha litererally has dollar signs in her name. She even sang at a Bat Mitzvah this week. Sad, girl.… Read More »