“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

So here you go….the riveting news…the following people will be on Dancing With The Stars. Starting with the most riveting women on Earth. Kate Gosselin. Next up is Buzz Aldrin. Yes, that Buzz Aldrin, the man on the moon circa 1969, and currently a fixture on the Beverly Hills social scene. One of my favorite people, Shannen Doherty is going to grace that stage of DWTS and do them the favor of the century. And here we have the obligatory sports star, Chad Ochocinco. And can you believe Jake Pavelka from The Bachelor is going to be on that show?… Read More »

Now that David Patterson has officially backed out of the race, look who’s planning to take a stab as Governator for the State of New York? Remember the Elliot Spitzer, Client 9, Ashley Dupre saga? Yes, that old, tired story. Well, the madame in that trinella, Kristin Davis, no, not the Kristin Davis from Sex and the City, but the one pictured above is ready to take her stand. Davis was the only one in that case that went to the slammer for her dirty dealings. I am sure while Kristin stewed in prison, she hatched this riveting plan to… Read More »

So, not that I give a flying cahoot, but ABC-TV is beginning to release the names to the media of the people cast for the upcoming edition of Dancing With The Stars, a.k.a. How On God’s Green Earth Is This Show A Hit? Yesterday, Perez Hilton announced that Pamela Anderson will be one of the people desperately holding on to dear life for their careers. Though Kelly Osbourne, who I adore, walked away from this show with flying colors and a fierce body, many have gone onto seeming ridiculous…or insane. My source told me that Pussycat Doll extraordinaire, Nicole Scherzinger… Read More »

There are some things we should not stand for, and horrible fashion is one of them. Celebrity designers is another thing, but let’s stick with today’s program, which is horrible fashion shown in irrelevant cities that host Fashion Weeks. Let me start with Williamsburg Fashion Weekend. At least Brooklyn knows they could never sustain a week (or a day) but that does not excuse their vain, sad, little attempt to make their fashion mark. Yeah, yeah, Williamsburg is amazing…if you live there. Say what you want, but Williamsburg is better in theory. But this ongoing desperate attempt to prove that… Read More »

Remember Christmas? So much drama happened this past holiday, and I don’t mean your traditional family dinner with cursing and yelling and depression. That is child’s play compared to the near fatal plane crash by terrorist slash underwear model Umar Farouk Abdul Mutallab. And what about that nativity scene at the Charlie Sheen mansion in Aspen when Chuckles was charged with a felony menacing and misdemeanor assault after he allegedly attacked his wife, Brooke Mueller. He was reported to be drunk at the time. Who can wrap their minds around either of those situations? There are eery likenesses to the… Read More »

On the eve of the Bryant Park tents being dismantled for the last time, thousands of fashionistas and people came to the park for So Long Bryant Park, the official goodbye party, complete with sobbing uncontrollably and drinking…and not in that order. From what I know, getting that party together was like pulling teeth from sponsors. But, since Fern Mallis was on the case…there was no way those tents were going out without a bang and some booze. So what’s next for New York Fashion Week? Will everyone run to Lincoln Center because Anna Wintour deems it the thing to… Read More »

Twice this week, Cathy Horyn from The New York Times Style Section has mentioned Zoe Saldana in relation to attending New York Fashion Week events and in both cases…she got it wrong. How does that happen? Cathy Horyn is like the goddess of The New York Times Style. Her sensual, melodic voice recapping each the season’s collections lulls me into a trance that makes me remember why I love fashion. But girl…stop referring to celebrities. It is beneath you. And (B) at least get your facts straight. EXHIBIT A: Tommy Hilfiger had the last word at Fashion Week, closing the… Read More »

Just watched the press conference with Tiger Woods, looking all pouty and apologetic for have endless amounts of glommy and poontang with a gaggle of hussies. I am not buying any of it. As you all know, golf has never been a big attraction for me, so why would I hang on every word that someone that wears pleated slacks. Anyway, I could only imagine what Rachel Uchitel (Lips McGilicutty) was doing during this press conference. She, who was his weekend sex toy, who reveled in Tiger’s salacious requests for constant sexual favors between golf holes. (Stop) Who wouldn’t want… Read More »

Madonna is finally jumping into the fashion business?!? I knew that she was hankering to become a schmatta peddler for years but was waiting for the right time and the right deal. And I guess this is it. There is no time like the present and there’s no place like Macy’s…though I wish she would just stay home. Anyone who is anyone that reads I MEAN…WHAT?!? knows how obsessed I am with this whole celebrity-turned-designer quagmire that we find ourselves in. And not obsessed like “I am obsessed with my Sarah Jessica Parker for Halston number” but more like, “Can… Read More »

With all the recent hub bub about celebrities sitting front row comes a new declaration from Women’s Wear Daily that bloggers are the new celebrities populating Fashion Week. That’s pretty amazing when you consider that just a few short seasons ago, bloggers were like flies to publicists, annoyingly buzzing around their heads trying to get access to the shows. There must be plenty of PR girls (bitches) cringing when they think back to how rudely they treated them, and now, they have to roll out the red carpet and cow tow. Just deserts. Though I Mean…What?!? was not mentioned in… Read More »