“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Excuse me while I stick my fingers in my ears and, “La la la la la la la la la la la la la la.” Who can listen to all this endless Rihanna drama? Like this and Oct-O-Mom stories are what we have been relegated to at a time when there’s so much turmoil around the world. And no, I don’t mean the friggen economy….cause, la la la la la la to that too. Isn’t there something horrendous going on in Darfur that we should be discussing or how about what’s really going on at the Mexican border. Yikes. I… Read More »

One thing is getting to Hollywood; the other is staying here. You can’t just stay here in the hopes of becoming a celebrity and take a job at a bank or some other menial office job in the Valley. Heaven forbid. … Read More »

 CHAPTER 6 – PART 1  THE FITNESS GURU? Losing a human being can be an exhilarating experience. Not an actual person such as a lover, friend or family member; that tends to be a sad affair, though not always. Losing enough excess fat that amounts to the weight of an entire human being, now that’s exhilarating. Such a loss—a person’s worth of blubber—referenced here, was something Abe Gurko was fortunate enough to experience. He attributed the unwanted amount of fat that he’d gained throughout his childhood to having been stuffed to the gills by an overly Jewish mother who survived… Read More »

I mean…MAN puts the man in Manzie, and man oh man, what a bunch of bullshit! That is, of course, your idea of ideas for men is slapping together a shitload of nonsense and decide to call it fashion.… Read More »

The expression “politically correct” or “political correctness” can be traced back to 1920s Germany, when communist academia sought to impose their views on students. The term became more frequently used in the 1960s and 1970s by suburban bleeding-heart liberals, feminists and progressives who were intent on impacting the media, while leaving an emotional imprint on the Baby Boomer generation. … Read More »

What is a Manzie? Well, it’s part man, part Pansy and part Dandy. A Manzie is someone desperately trying to be “on trend”. They can be a straight man trying too hard to be stylish or a straight-acting-gay man who acts extra butch in his “quirky” fashion choices to compensate for his nelly-ness. And now there’s a bunch of new options.… Read More »

It’s hard to find humor in tragedy, especially before any healing has taken hold. But humor has always been my armor, my solace, my Woobie since I was a toddler and I needed to find my funny fast. I was crestfallen, felt so helpless and numb to the news of the day, which would go on to becoming a seminal moment. … Read More »

Chelsea Lately at the end was no longer all that funny. Rather, it was a crass catch-me, catch me half hour gabfest about how funny she thinks she is coupled with how funny her celebrity friends like Jennifer Aniston thought the was. All the while bragging about her money, fame and acting like her shit officially began to smell like a Hot Pocket.… Read More »

There is a saying in Hollywood that if you have a great script and throw it out of your car window onto the 405 Freeway, that it will still end up getting made. That from the head of Paramount Studios who would know, since she used to have the 405 scoured for great scripts by her lackies, I mean her executives. One cannot properly exist in Los Angeles without being able to say, “I am writing a screenplay”. It is practically illegal not to at least be able to say that you and a friend are “collaborating on a project”,… Read More »

August Osage County just might be the worst movie of the year. Since her royal highness Meryl Streep is the film’s star, no one will say boo and admit that I am 100% right. This loud, talky, ensemble nightmare features a dream cast but the problem is each character is so unlikeable that the only person you root for is yourself. Why? Because you begin to take pity for the fact that you did not walk out of the movie at the first sign that everyone is yelling. But then again you couldn’t because you were frozen in shock from… Read More »