“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Ding Dong! The Witch is dead. Which old Witch? The Wicked Witch! Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead. Wake up – sleepy head, rub your eyes, get out of bed. Wake up, the Wicked Witch is dead. She’s gone where the goblins go, Below – below – below. Yo-ho, let’s open up and sing and ring the bells out. Ding Dong’ the merry-oh, sing it high, sing it low. Let them know The Wicked Witch is dead! Please follow us on Twitter.com/imeanwhat or Like Us on Facebook.… Read More »

Remember Joey Lawrence from Blossom? Yes, he was a cutie but now, look at him. Dyed black hair with shoe polish and clearly desperate for a paying gig. Joey, (out of obscurity), came to the defense of  Donald “Orange” Trump about how right he is about stuff. Well, clearly, the Celebrity Apprentice has been renewed for 3 seasons, and Donald Trump is NOT going to run for President and Joey Lawrence will be in the next season’s line-up. If I am wrong, sue me, but wanna bet?… Read More »

There are certain things that I do not need to know, like who designed Kate Walsh‘s jewelry when she is on some red carpet. Well, or anyone’s jewelry on a red carpet come to think of it. Sure. I like to know who designed the dresses, but the jewelry? Who cares? It’s not like the TV viewing audience is running to Google Neil Lane and ordering the diamond encrusted emerald earrings. For the most part, that information is blather. In this age of celebrity hounding, there’s way too much information out there and it is really getting nauseating. It makes… Read More »

The film, The Social Network has forced Mark Zuckerberg to come out of the shadows, rather, his computer screen. Since then, it seems that Facebook, which I used to like, has evolved quickly into a mass marketing machine. I am accosted with invitations to utter nonsense making my email inbox seem like a spam free zone, which it is not. Gone are the good old days when long-lost eighth grade classmates would stalk me now that that they see I am no longer a fatso however they are. We see Mark Zuckerberg everywhere: Dinners, power meetings with President Obama or… Read More »

Where is the outrage? We all know by now how horrendous the Tea Party is with all their racist Tea Bagging shenanigans. But now, things are really spiraling out of control. Where in hell is this Marilyn Davenport, the Orange County Republican Central Committee slash Tea Partyer woman who sent out a mass email depicting Barack Obama as a chimpanzee? What infuriates me is that every news outlet posted the offensive, inappropriate image but no one has posted a picture of the culprit, Marilyn Davenport. We at I Mean..What?!? refused to post that image as we consider ourselves somewhat tactful… Read More »

For those of you who have been reading I Mean…What?!? for a while, you might recall in my many Manzie Reports from last year and my observation that Gina Lollobrigida Orange was the new black. Naturally, I was being facetious because the way they were showing orange on the men’s runways in Milan and Paris, you would have to be insane to be caught dead walking the streets in half of these get ups, rather, you would get the shit kicked out of you by a pack of homophobes. Fortunately, orange in regards to menswear, never really took off, but… Read More »

Clearly I am not a Jennifer Aniston fan. Not since last century when Friends was one of my favorite shows and I pined for “The Rachel” hairdo. I still do, but that is because I have no hair so I’ll take anything. No, after observing Jennifer in certain situations (lush) when I lived in Los Angeles, it took the wind of out the sail of loving Jennifer Aniston. Besides, the show was canceled by then and she changed up her hair. When she married Brad Pitt, I wondered if this was a Hollywood gay cover-up because they had the same… Read More »

We knew that Rachel Uchitel would not fade into the woodwork forever after taking the alleged millions of dollars from Tiger Woods in exchange for shutting her uber-collagen enhanced lips about their illicit sexual affair. The good news is, who needed her to tell us anything, my sources told me plenty. In particular, Tiger would demand sex AT LEAST three or four times a day, that she would have to drop what she was doing and run to his side…no questions asked. Clearly, the slogan “Tiger in his tank” has new meaning. Woodsy also preferred a different orifice each time,… Read More »

In a stunning politically correct move, Miss Michigan – Rima Fakih was crowned Miss USA 2010. Granted, she is beautiful, and perhaps indeed the rightful winner, but not having watched the show, I can not say whether she won hands down or whether she was crowned as a ploy to improve Arab-America relations abroad. Let’s go with the idea that she won on all her merits….riveting as they must be. Congratulations. Now, let’s go with my conspiracy theory: using the Miss USA worldwide platform as a political move on behalf of Donald Trump and Barack Obama. The plan was to… Read More »

Lindsay Lohan may have been paid $1.5 million for that Ungaro mess…and trashed a room at The Bowery Hotel along the way. – THE CUT Madge is back in Malawi! -Yahoo! News How insane can you be? Ivanka Trump’s stalker thinks he still has a chance with her…yikes. -Popeater Jason Lee’s ex-wife reveals some dish about Scientology…and has an amazing story about crazy Jenna Elfman. -Radar Look out skanks…he’s back and loking for love. -PAGE SIX… Read More »