“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

So help me if they cast Tom Hanks as General Petraeus, I will scream. Paula Broadwell could be cast by Diane Lane, since she wishes she were her, and Jill Kelley can be played by Kim Kardashian. Well if the illicit sex fits…… Read More »

We knew that Rachel Uchitel would not fade into the woodwork forever after taking the alleged millions of dollars from Tiger Woods in exchange for shutting her uber-collagen enhanced lips about their illicit sexual affair. The good news is, who needed her to tell us anything, my sources told me plenty. In particular, Tiger would demand sex AT LEAST three or four times a day, that she would have to drop what she was doing and run to his side…no questions asked. Clearly, the slogan “Tiger in his tank” has new meaning. Woodsy also preferred a different orifice each time,… Read More »

Do you ever stop to wonder how on Earth all these tacky, low-rent people have managed to claw their way into the media and take up so much of our time these days? Look no further than your mirror. What you will see there is one of the reasons that Gross Baboons have even entered the zeitgeist. It is because of you and me (or is it I) that there is even a need for the Annual Gross Baboon of the Year Award (to be held during the next awards season). We have glorified the lowest common denominator of humans.… Read More »

Now that David Patterson has officially backed out of the race, look who’s planning to take a stab as Governator for the State of New York? Remember the Elliot Spitzer, Client 9, Ashley Dupre saga? Yes, that old, tired story. Well, the madame in that trinella, Kristin Davis, no, not the Kristin Davis from Sex and the City, but the one pictured above is ready to take her stand. Davis was the only one in that case that went to the slammer for her dirty dealings. I am sure while Kristin stewed in prison, she hatched this riveting plan to… Read More »

It really is a shame that dogs have gotten a bad rap because of the basic human need to name-call. What is more amazing than your dog? Nothing. The expression, “It’s a dog’s life” refers to the easy, pressure-free existence that our pampered dogs live. Laying, stretching, nibbling, laying, stretching, nibbling. They are plenty busy. But then, somewhere along the line, people started referring to other humans as dogs and not in a good way. How did that happen? If I was a dog, a real one, I would be pissed. Women call men dogs for looking at other women,… Read More »

‘ The New York Post, a.k.a. the non-thinking man’s New York Times, has sunk to a new low. Granted, I read Page Six online daily, who doesn’t, but every other aspect of that rag is nothing I refer to for much. Now they have sunk yet to their lowest low. The Post just launched Ask Ashley, yes, that Ashley, as in Ashely Dupre, hooker extraordinaire, to be their resident love columnist (think the low to lower-middle class Carrie Bradshaw) for their fifty cent pooper scooper. Well, can you think of a better usage for The Post than that? Yes, now… Read More »

Today there’s just little kernels of dish that made me put together Bits and Pieces of Nonsense for you to nibble on. With Tiger still caught by his..well..not his toe…and the White House Hookers still the big story, I thought I’d just add a little here and there and wish you all a great weekend. 1) Speaking of hookers, remember Ashley Dupre? Well, she is now officially a hooker with a heart of gold. She makes an incredibly good point about the bitches that are picking at Tiger Woods‘ carcass and I suggest you read in story. Click on photo… Read More »

The other thing about non-interesting media whores who get to the top of the heap are those who write “memoirs” or “tell-alls”. There is a vast difference between an obscure writer, compelled to tell their life story, which strikes a chord and becomes a best-seller (Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love) versus Sarah Palin’s seven-million dollar book deal that will have as much depth as my shoe. Or how about the upcoming Studio Head by Jon Peters (Barbra Streisand’s ex hairdresser turned producer) who plans to reveal dirty details about all his trysts and even several of Streisand’s trysts as well.… Read More »