“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Ever since Madonna jumped into the schmatta business, it has been a head-scratcher. Why the lame move from musical icon to tween celebrity-turned-fashion-designer extraordinaire? Sure, she’s made some cute moves like hiring Taylor Momsen, the Gossip Girl cast-off as the original face of the label, Material Girl. But overall, Madonna & Schmatta was just an odd lot job lot. The news that LA Triumph, a garmento company in California, is suing Madonna, claiming the rights to the name Material Girl is really annoying. Sure, the tween Macy’s fest is somewhat beneath my Material Girl but Madonna is and will always… Read More »

Fresh off the heels of the most romantic moment in couples history, I am left wondering who we have in the United States that can remotely be called our own royal couple. Enter Kristen Stewart & Robert Pattinson. Don’t look now but the slow burn of promoting the next and final-ish chapters of the Twilight Saga has begun, kicking off with an exclusive cover story in Entertainment Weekly. The timing seems intentional, can’t you hear them in the EW cover meeting now, “Let’s put Bella and Edward on the cover, America is drunk with romance thanks to the Royal Wedding“.… Read More »

In what surely was Pia Toscano‘s luckiest day, last Thursday the stunning songbird got booted off American Idol to a shocked studio audience and a sobbing Jennifer Lopez. But sob not, because Jimmy Iovine signed her for a record deal as soon as the show ended. Here’s the weird bit, on Wednesday night, I had a feeling that Pia was going to get booted off and through all 10 seasons of Idol, I have never called to vote for anyone. Not even Fantasia Barrino. But I was compelled to call that 866 Pia number like a dozen times. When I… Read More »

There are stories swirling via the internet, Twitter, Hot Topics, bla bla bla, and yes here too. But not because, “Oooh…this story is amazing dish”. Rather, because it is shocking that people give a hoot about the following stories. Starting with The Bachelor. Anyone that couldn’t see through that ridiculous shit-eating grin of Jake Pavelka‘s is insane. His “poor me”, starry-eyed, Joker-face complete with crocodile tears was cringe-worthy. And when he chose that skank Vienna Girardi, well, at that point who cared what happened to either of them. And to find out they split up? Gee…now there’s an unexpected twist.… Read More »

After that final episode of Jersey Shore, watching Snooki dance alone on the boardwalk, having been rejected by that “white guy”, then snooking up to The Situation in the hot tub and totally losing all self-respect, who wouldn’t want to see the Snooks get her day in the sun with a man that is all about her? Well, I am happy to report that she has met a guy, no less a Guido, Emilio Antonio and that she is happy as a pig in shit…or something like that. “He is freaking banging. We’re the sexiest couple I have ever seen… Read More »

At the Grammy Awards, some queen from E! Entertainment reported that Brad and Angelina were not separated. Well, did he read I Mean…What?!? My source said days ago that there was NO TRUTH to the rumor about a pending split between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. I was told by the insider that while in New York City filming the retakes of Salt, the two were lovey-dovey and there were no signs of martial woes. Perhaps we can just chalk this whole media frenzy up to another case of Brangelina Envy?… Read More »

Oh man. Will the celebrity-turned-designer cycle ever stop? Or at least slow down? Everyday this week, Women’s Wear Daily has reported YET another celebrity-designer collaboration, which is beginning to make my skin crawl. Must every actress try her hand at designing (and I use that term loosely here) a capsule collection? The only capsule I am interested is one that can be washed down with fluids and alter my reality. But the new reality world of celebrity designers is like living in Bizarro World. We now have Sarah Jessica Parker heading up the Halston legacy (click link for yesterday’s IMW… Read More »

Being amongst a collection of collagenous junkies out here in Fire Island, where an arrogant puss is as common as sand, it got me to thinking about arrogance in general. Lord knows gays have not cornered the market on that lovely trait, but oh, how they try. Today’s news featured a few arrogant twits. All of them suffering from that terminal illness of believing their own press. And they all have something else in common: flared nostrils, slightly turned up as though they are smelling week-old fish left in the fridge. That is sooo the look of arrogance. Here now… Read More »