“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

There is a new report that Tiger Woods fathered a child with a porn star names Devon James. Seriously who can even listen to this nonsense? Can we just put all these woman who have–and continue to–step forward claiming to wanking and spanking the wood of Mr. Woods? Even if it is true…which by the way, the mother of this new skank accuser went on record to say that there is no truth to the story…who cares? If her own mother thinks she is a pathological liar, why are we even having this conversation? The riveting news came from Ms.… Read More »

My assistant Ryan said yesterday that he was thinking about getting a spray tan because the BCBG Max Azria store was doing an in-store promotion and he wanted to try it out. Horrifying as that sounds on every front, I implored him not to do it and hoped that he heeded my words rather than follow his heart when he left the office. The thing about spray tans is that no one looks good with them. Anything obvious is not a good thing. Most bridezillas that have adopted this practice for their wedding day look borderline insane…and orange. Orange and… Read More »