“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Downmarket lovebirds Kat Von D & Jesse James are back together and engaged again. Now this is the last time kids. Do it and go back to your lives in Orange County. Maybe once they are married, Bravo can add Kat Von James to the cast of the Real Housewives of Orange County. You heard it here first. Well, either that or some other reality show where the two of them get to act out at Costco and Target.… Read More »

Now that Anthony Weiner has resigned and will soon vanish from the headlines, as the paparazzi and all the haters melt into the sunset leaving him and Huma alone to redefine their relationship, should Weiner still attend Horndogs Anonymous? Let’s face it, there is a 12 Step Program for every possible ailment, from Narcotics, Marijuana, Food, Sexual Compulsives, you name it. See the A-List below from Wikipedia. For some reason, however, Horndogs Anonymous was not included onto their list, probably because there are so few members. I started HA around the time of the Tiger Woods Skank-a-thon, making Tiger the… Read More »

A while back I wrote a piece about Mistresses Anonymous, the organization started by Sarah Symonds of the Gordon Ramsey indiscretion. Seems like all the women in the boat of having had an affair with a celebrity married man, come out swinging vis-a-vis the media. At least Sarah chose to use her position for good by starting Mistresses Anonymous, clearly an honorable thing to do. She has also become the go-to bloviator for every current infidelity plaguing our airwaves from Tiger Woods to Jesse James. While Sarah is out stumping for the Elin Nordegren, Sandra Bullocks and Elizabeth Edwards of… Read More »

Angelina Jolie is rumored to play the Wicked Witch of the West?!? Say it ain’t so. Don’t get me wrong, I love Angelina Jolie. I love her enough to tell her not to do this, as it is NOT the role of a lifetime. Gia was that for her. Forget about Angelina Jolie for a minute and let’s just discuss why anyone in Hollywood thinks they have what it takes to take on the challenge of remaking The Wizard of Oz. And please don’t tell me that Tim Burton wants to do it. Though he is brilliant and everything, his… Read More »

Awww, poor baby. Skank got your tongue? And other similarly shaped parts? Jesse James sits down for an interview and surely he must feel remorse that his whole butch straight act is no looked at as a stupid, low rent, low class, nobody that lucked out. We’ve watched you from The Celebrity Apprentice through the Michelle Bombshell McGee debacle and the bottom line is….like every one of these skanks, you will rise from the ashes because the fact remains…Illicit Sex: The Stepping Stone to a Media Career. httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5dscSiJyh8… Read More »

Here’s a love triangle that’s enough to make anyone brech, a.k.a. vomit in Yiddish. The news that Larry King was having an affair with his wife’s younger sister, Shannon Engemann, is not only too much information (TMI), but it is the kind of  information that boggles the mind. Once I read the allegation from Shawn Southwick (King’s wife of 13 years) my imagination ran wild as to how that dalliance came to fruition in the first place. If all this is true, here’s what we need to know: Did Shannon come on to him? Brech. Did Larry come onto Shannon?… Read More »

Lindsay Lohan may have been paid $1.5 million for that Ungaro mess…and trashed a room at The Bowery Hotel along the way. – THE CUT Madge is back in Malawi! -Yahoo! News How insane can you be? Ivanka Trump’s stalker thinks he still has a chance with her…yikes. -Popeater Jason Lee’s ex-wife reveals some dish about Scientology…and has an amazing story about crazy Jenna Elfman. -Radar Look out skanks…he’s back and loking for love. -PAGE SIX… Read More »

My assistant Ryan said yesterday that he was thinking about getting a spray tan because the BCBG Max Azria store was doing an in-store promotion and he wanted to try it out. Horrifying as that sounds on every front, I implored him not to do it and hoped that he heeded my words rather than follow his heart when he left the office. The thing about spray tans is that no one looks good with them. Anything obvious is not a good thing. Most bridezillas that have adopted this practice for their wedding day look borderline insane…and orange. Orange and… Read More »

Here’s a situation that has me riveted…in a guilty pleasure kind of way…kind of like watching…The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love. Where you really can’t believe that you got whooped up into wasting two hours of your precious time on earth watching this stupid show, yet, totally hoping that anyone but Vienna wins…and horrified when she did. Hence, you lost all respect for Jake. In that same way, I am wondering what Sandra Bullock and Elin Nordegren will do about their cheating husbands? Will they or won’t they forgive them…or will they just leave? Who hasn’t made their minds… Read More »

Yesterday, I announced my newest nominee for Gross Baboon of the Year with the news of Jesse James and his uber-skank Michelle “Bombshell” McGee (a.k.a. Skanky McGee, in my book). But the competition continues to be fierce for that award. Today, it’s all about Joslyn James, from the quorum of bosomy broads who diddled with Tiger Woods‘ doodle…or is it doodled with his diddle. Actually, neither, if you go by the salacious texts that poor, little victim of poontang, Joslyn endured…then released to the media…really?!? Who can feel sorry for anyone that makes choices with open eyes and hires someone… Read More »