“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Did you even wonder what happens to a Real Housewife once she is put out to pasture? Cancelled. Not asked back. Told they are no longer “IT” women. Since they were never “IT” girls, why should they have ever really been “IT” women in the first place? But seriously, where do they go? How do they refer to themselves postmortem? “I WAS real but no longer am?” When the glare of Andy Cohen‘s pearly whites dims and the real housewife is left to her own devices, standing on the edge of a red carpet event, what happens? How do they… Read More »

The tide has turned for Sarah Palin. I recently said, “I don’t care how often Sarah Palin appears on Fox News, nor how disdainfully she speaks of our President while giving kudos to Donald “Orange” Trump for being the Birther-in-Chief, the fact remains that the wind is out of her sail and I couldn’t be happier. Michele Bachmann has stolen her thunder and she must be freaking out.” Boy, what a difference a weekend makes. That One Nation Tour Bus is kicking Michele and every Republican hopeful in the pants. Imagine the ego bloat that those two reality stars, Sarah… Read More »

Oy vey. There is a reality show for everyone and a jewlery or fashion line, as well. That said, I came across these lovely baubles that will launch on HSN, that fashion channel for mavens, that I wanted to share them with you. I have one word for this: Help! These treasures are from the new Gastineau Glamour collection from those perky reality show stars Brittny and her mamma bear Lisa Gastineau. The good news? Bethenny Frankel and Jill Zarin have a long prosperous future. Wait, did I say good news? Shoot me. Clearly, every Housewife ever will end up… Read More »

And the gloves are off. Who will win the ratings battle between The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills versus The Real Housewives of New York City this season? Duh. Beverly Hills of course. I have never been a big fan or watcher of the New York housewives because–well–who cares about these run of the mill ladies who lunch? Or in the case of Bethenny Frankel, liquid lunch. The Beverly Hills broads live an aspirational, opulent lifestyle whereas the New York ladies are a bunch of yentas, living seemingly above their means or worse–Brooklyn. Needless to say the Beverly Hills broads… Read More »

Angelina Jolie is rumored to play the Wicked Witch of the West?!? Say it ain’t so. Don’t get me wrong, I love Angelina Jolie. I love her enough to tell her not to do this, as it is NOT the role of a lifetime. Gia was that for her. Forget about Angelina Jolie for a minute and let’s just discuss why anyone in Hollywood thinks they have what it takes to take on the challenge of remaking The Wizard of Oz. And please don’t tell me that Tim Burton wants to do it. Though he is brilliant and everything, his… Read More »

It seems like the tide is beginning to slowly turn on these so called celebrities, a.k.a reality television stars. Case in point, my  prediction yesterday of the reason why the Jersey Shore cast is heading back to…well…the Jersey shore. Seems like they were turned away from most places in Miami, which I could have told MTV, had they asked. Come on, what brand besides Ed Hardy want to be affiliated with those kids? Sure, when they were the flavor of the month, they were all the rage. Even Harper’s Bazaar was all over them. Now that the Jersey dust has… Read More »

Here we have another edition of Last Five Minutes of Fame. This is an odd week because some of the people on this list are the current obsession of the media. Maybe it is wishful thinking. But I am testing my witching powers to see if by virtue of putting them on the list, if that has an impact on what we will see in the press going forward. Which is such a sad state of media affairs. I heard that Access Hollywood told a publicist that they only way they will cover an event if Jon Gosselin attends. Like… Read More »

Pack your bags kids. It is time to move off this continent and go to a place, any place in this world, where you will be safe from the prying, vomitous eyes of the media that gives us the endless stories about wanna-bes, never was-es, and nobodies galore. Today I have read a story that has made me so nauseous, that I am beside myself. Let me just list the cast of characters in this item and surely you will agree and run to start packing. Jon Gosselin, Michael Lohan, Jill Zarin. Should I stop now? And wait, this trifecta… Read More »

Each summer, flocks of people migrate east to The Hamptons. Like birds, they set up nests, arrange their beach wardrobes and busy themselves with all sorts of relaxing activities. Here is a typical day in the life of a Hamptonite: sit in traffic walk around ad nauseam have cocktails or dinner at whatever has been suggested by the media shop for things that otherwise would not be purchased share bedrooms with total strangers…as a living situation, not a sexual encounter congregate with people they otherwise despise desperately try to meet a mate pretend to be nice to potential mates stand… Read More »

When did these tacky gifting suites enter the realm of fabulous? Who were/are these people that infiltrated the groovy backstage green rooms in order to display their sad wares? And when did real celebrities begin to frolic through free shit not minding that it becomes a press opportunity? When did fabulous go all wrong? Somewhere between the Golden Age of Hollywood and now, things have gotten cock-eyed. Press is no longer real press, and celebrities are no longer real celebrities, rather a bunch of schnorrers (Yiddish for moocher, as in Minnie the). Any schnook (Yiddish for stupid person) can be… Read More »