“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

OK, so Lindsay Lohan is out of rehab. Big whoop. And she is moving to Venice, next door to Samantha Ronson. Like that was not the plan? Naturally, everyone is quick to judge Lindsay for stalking Sam, when frankly, that entire relationship from the get go was a garden variety, two-way street obsession, typical of many lesbian affairs. Oooh…..like I am wrong? There is something distinct about most lesbian relationships that I have observed first hand, through many close friendships. And you just don’t want to get into the middle of that, especially if you are a guy, because you… Read More »

This is the least interesting update on the planet Earth. Earlier I wrote about the pending homosexual announcement of a major star on the cover of People magazine. Well, TMZ, (Lord knows they are the go-to site for realness) is claiming that they have solved the mystery and the person coming out of the closet is none other than…drum roll please…Chely Wright. Who? Chely Wright. Who? Chely Wright. You are kidding me that someone with such limited national appeal is making this tragic, overblown PR scam. Chely Whatever-Her-Name-Is is a friggen country western singer. Now, if she was coming out… Read More »

According to Lindsay Lohan’s tweet, Sam Ronson spit in her face at Coachella. R U kidding? Move on girls. Enough. Yikes. – TWITTER The Mario Testino/Kate Moss book will sell out for sure at $472 or whatever price. – HUFFINGTON POST httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2sYfsFv_i0&feature=player_embedded Kate Gosselin (March of the Wooden Soldiers) was finally booted off DWTS. Next up…more reality television. My friend at Warner Brothers said she is impossible. – JUST JARED Oh, no, Heather Locklear was just arrested for a hit and run. I am sooo upset. I love her. And am so sad that Melrose Place is canceled. – TMZ… Read More »

Last month I did a piece called the Nobody News, which is about a bunch of nobodies…that seem to be somebody…to a bunch of nobodies. If you do not know what I just said, it pretty much sums up our current media fascination with plucked-out-of-obscurity “notables”. That and a couple of “celebrities” thrown into the mix, a.k.a. people I couldn’t care less about. However, do I stand alone? Looking at today’s news reports, it was clear that the Nobody News was aching for a comeback. With that, I give you this.… Read More »