“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Oy vey. What a difference a day makes. There is a book out today called Celebrity Inc. that speaks to the tacky ways people make money off their fifteen minutes of fame. Written by Jo Piazza, writer for the New York Daily News, he is already predicting Kim Kardashian‘s fall from grace and her trajectory spiraling downward similar to that of Paris Hilton‘s demise a.k.a “the slippery slope to becoming the brunt of the joke then more painfully, obscurity”. Sure they still love Paris in Tokyo, which sounds like an oxymoron. But here, Paris can’t… well… can only get arrested.… Read More »

Last night I watched my first episode of The Hills. Yikes. There is not one redeemable character on that show. The way Kristin Cavallari drones on and on in Valley Girl speak makes my skin crawl. Has she been shot up with too much Novocaine? Kristin does not close her mouth to enunciate complete words. Moving on…to Brody Jenner…who is a hottie no doubt…but do you think he loves himself a bit too much? He is surely the kind of character that gets killed off early in those teen horror movies. Audrina Patridge is OK, but her choice in men,… Read More »

Here’s a game that we can all play together. It’s pretty easy. I will show you a picture followed by a few statements. You select the answer that best fits the person/people and the situation. Easy and fun! A) Now what are we gonna do? B) Look, we’ve gotten this far, surely some stupid publicity scam will keep us in the public eye. C) All of the above. A) One sex tape, even sex tapes. What’s the difference? B) These boobs are all I have left. C) I should have lied to Perez Hilton, God damn it. D) All of… Read More »

Here we have another edition of Last Five Minutes of Fame. This is an odd week because some of the people on this list are the current obsession of the media. Maybe it is wishful thinking. But I am testing my witching powers to see if by virtue of putting them on the list, if that has an impact on what we will see in the press going forward. Which is such a sad state of media affairs. I heard that Access Hollywood told a publicist that they only way they will cover an event if Jon Gosselin attends. Like… Read More »

And now, for your viewing pleasure, the 2nd edition of Last Five Minutes Of Fame ®, the new weekly installment of people that truly belong on this list. With a nod to Andy Warhol, being on “the list” puts members of this most exclusive club in the center of the media glare…kind of like a deer in the headlights just before…KABOOM. One can’t help feeling sorry for them since they mean so well, not as in well-meaning, rather, mean so well to be famous, not matter what, at any cost, uber alles. The great thing about the Last Five Minutes… Read More »

There are so many maroons that capture the media’s attention and become overnight sensations. And when I say sensations, I don’t mean they are sensational by any means. “Sensation” is a homonym, and has more than one meaning. So when you see a picture of  Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, who are media sensations, for some ungodly reason, it’s not a stimulation of the senses (as per the dictionary), it is more like a weird anomaly. OK, class, let’s skip the English pop quiz and move on. My point is: how on Earth do so many nobodies become somebodies? Why… Read More »