“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Now I have seen and heard everything. Yesterday, Air Force 1 flew over New York City, really low, scaring the beJesus out of thousands of office workers downtown who were in eye shot of this troubling visual. Buildings on both sides of the Hudson River were evacuated and many thought they were doomed. Come to find out that Air Force 1 is like Lindsay Lohan, complete with publicist. The seemingly out of control airplane being followed by a fighter jet was in the midst of a photo op for Barak Obama’s plane. I…mean…what?!? A photo op? So now everyone and… Read More »

Call me a conspiracy theorist, but the whole swine flu hysteria seems pretty iffy to me. What happened to the days when going to Mexico and coming back with Montezuma’s revenge (travel bug) was folly for the Late Night monologues? No, I am not a doctor, so take what I say with a grain of salt. But allow me to throw a couple of thoughts out there for you to mull over and then tell me you are still hiding under your couch with a face mask on. Could this be a ruse to get people off Barak Obama’s nine-trillion… Read More »

Here’s what we know: Rome was not built in a day. Here’s what we think: The Lord created heaven and earth in 6 days. And if you believe that, then I have a plot of land in the Poconos I’d like to sell you. I mean…what’s with this 100 Days nonsense and these phony benchmarks? Obama is doing the best he can given the situation he is in. What do we–the public he is trying to help–benefit by laying on more pressure?  Sure, I know the pundits, Republicans and bloviators need something to talk about. But turning over the 100… Read More »

It was inevitable. Susan Boyle was not going to stay looking like Dick Cheyney’s frazzled, long-lost, twin sister forever. Not with people pulling her from all sides. Yesterday, her new “look” was revealed and I am not convinced that it’s all that fabulous. I am a huge fan from the get-go. But when I first blogged about it I said, “not too much tinkering just yet”. Sure, a brush to the hair and some cream rinse was a must, and a subtle touch of eyebrow tweezing. But that’s it. Now with managers and agents and money-grubbing mother fuckers hoisting themsevles… Read More »

Poor Larry Summers. He has to attend endless meetings about the economy with bankers (zzzz) discussing the minutia of selling off bad debt to companies with bad debt. But, darling, wake up and smell the coffee. Literally. This photo taken yesterday (below, top left) shows just how compelling the arguments are to turn our economy around. Yowza, this is Obama’s main man? He’s our Director of National Economic Council?  Yikes. This is the guy who said women have lesser aptitude for work in the highest levels of math and science. Ladies, you can bitch slap him from here to kingdom… Read More »

There’s so much hub-bub about torture in the news these days. I’ve looked at the evidence, listened to the pundits and dickheads (Dick Cheney, who else?) and have decided that water boarding and all the other methods wouldn’t compare to what I have concocted as a far more effective and painless way to scare the bejesus out of any terrorist and get them talking.… Read More »

Of the many newly established “holidays”, Earth Day is the little holiday that could. Yes, it has accomplished tons of global awareness since 1970, when it started, as a way to instill fear that the end of the world is nigh. Since then, the Earth Global Network successfully promotes the consciousness that we must all do our part to save the world. And hopefully meet Leonardo DiCaprio in the process. However, the term “Green” has become so overused, it’s almost passe. Even Vanity Fair has stopped doing their “green issue”, currently featuring Giselle Bunchen on the cover, Miss Green herself…as… Read More »

YOU DECIDE, WHAT’S THE MOST APROPOS IMAGE? I really try not to include Republicans in my daily entries on I Mean…What?!? But they sure make it hard to avoid with their endless reactionary grandstanding and annoying comments. Hopefully, they will continue to dwindle, then poof…disappear. I speak today of The Dick Cheney and the backlash against the handshake between Barak Obama and Hugo Chavez. Seems that The Dick, a.k.a. Darth Vader or rather, The Emperor (as per George Lucas), is all up in a kerfuffle about the handshake from last weekend. “The president needs to distinguish between good [guys] and… Read More »

I’m almost embarrassed to admit that I watched part of the Miss USA “Pageant” last night and can’t believe what a bubble those women live in.  Last night’s show was like watching RuPaul’ Drag Race on MTV earlier this year. You have a group of overly made up (lip-liner for days), big-haired, plastic-looking people vying for the top spot, waltzing around on stage in bad Debbie Reynolds Vegas drag, glittered up the ass, and answering silly questions. So, what’s the difference? At least with Drag Race, there were more laughs. When people take themselves too seriously, it’s hard to really… Read More »

Two of my favorite celebrities need to take a massive chill pill and stay out of the limelight for…like…several years. Madonna and Bono, I have had just about enough of each of you. Unless you are singing a song from your repertoire, I don’t need to hear another bleeding-heart word, new song, concert tour updates…nothing. I applaud your efforts with the utmost respect and get how important AIDS drugs and schools in Malawi are. You guys are amazing. But frankly, much has been accomplished in this world by people who were not constantly heat-seeking the glare and scrutiny of the… Read More »