“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

For those of you who do not quite know what a Fotzy Balloon is, I figured this is a critical moment to explain it since the fotzy balloons are coming. So…What is FOTZY or FOTZ ? Etymology: What started out as a sarcastic reference to something, someone, well, anything, that “thinks” or acts like they are way too fascinating. It’s started as a sarcastic dishy slam: “Oh, they’re fascinating”. And evolved to… “Well, aren’t they fotzinating”. Which shrunk down to… “They are fotzy”. Which became… “Fotzy Balloons.” And finally… “Fotz”. Here are a few examples: Bing is fotz. What Madonna… Read More »

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CD2LRROpph0 Last week, I posted the Rebecca Black video of the song Friday and sadly, my server went down. Sadly, I had to take down that post. Since then, her hit song has received over 45,ooo,ooo, yes that is 45 million(!) views and fans including Lady Gaga and Simon Cowell. Say what you want about the song, many people have been goofing on her and trashing the song, but if you ask me, there’s a hint of Katy Perry in them there hills. Like Cowell, my sentiments are, anyone that can out do Susan Boyle is fierce. Period.… Read More »

So ABC-TV casting executives are wracking out their brains as to who they can cast for the next season of Dancing With Has-Beens…I mean…Dancing With The Stars. They are fatootzed as to how to top the Bristol Palin coup d’états. Word is that DWTS was originally after Todd Palin for this past season and that Sarah Palin, in her unyielding control freak way, offered up Bristol Palin as a peace offering with the intention to bring grace back to the out of wedlock teenage mom. Let’s face it, Bristol, left to her own devices would just as quickly cast herself… Read More »

You must watch this Taiwanese boy sing I Will Always Love You. Move over Susan Boyle and Whitney Houston for that matter. -DLISTED In more vomitous news, Jon Gosselin is seeking full child custody from bad dancer, Kate Gosselin. Yes, she’s annoying, but okideer. -NY DAILY NEWS Brech. This is that Robert Joe Halderman who blackmailed David Letterman. He now has a new girlfriend. (A) Who cares and (B) Truth to my mother’s saying, “There is a cover for every pot…belly. -PAGE 6 Jessica Simpson (luv hu), whose brilliant media comeback by doing The Price of Beauty, is already paying… Read More »

There’s something fantastic about Adam Lambert and Susan Boyle’s second place finishes on American Idol and Britian’s Got Talent (respectively). What, you say? How about a clear message that “winning is not everything”. What a great statement for all to see and hear especially when Adam and Susan will undoubtedly have fantastic careers moving forward. Yeah, yeah, Kris Allen is adorable and the Diversity dance troupe from last night’s Brit win are extremely talented…but…yoo hoo…snore. As a confirmed slacker, seeing people not win and succeeding anyway makes my heart go pitter-patter. It reminds me that not being a goodie-goodie (like… Read More »

It was inevitable. Susan Boyle was not going to stay looking like Dick Cheyney’s frazzled, long-lost, twin sister forever. Not with people pulling her from all sides. Yesterday, her new “look” was revealed and I am not convinced that it’s all that fabulous. I am a huge fan from the get-go. But when I first blogged about it I said, “not too much tinkering just yet”. Sure, a brush to the hair and some cream rinse was a must, and a subtle touch of eyebrow tweezing. But that’s it. Now with managers and agents and money-grubbing mother fuckers hoisting themsevles… Read More »

YOU DECIDE, WHAT’S THE MOST APROPOS IMAGE? I really try not to include Republicans in my daily entries on I Mean…What?!? But they sure make it hard to avoid with their endless reactionary grandstanding and annoying comments. Hopefully, they will continue to dwindle, then poof…disappear. I speak today of The Dick Cheney and the backlash against the handshake between Barak Obama and Hugo Chavez. Seems that The Dick, a.k.a. Darth Vader or rather, The Emperor (as per George Lucas), is all up in a kerfuffle about the handshake from last weekend. “The president needs to distinguish between good [guys] and… Read More »

What this week taught me was just how REALLY, profoundly powerful the internet and social networks are, with a special shout out to Twitter. That Susan Boyle received 30 million hits in one week is astonishing. And what it showed us ALL is that you don’t have to be a titty-and-belly-button bearing (Britney, Miley, Goo Goo Ga Ga) diva to get into the hearts and minds of the music loving public.The moment I saw Simon Cowell’s eyebrows raise after Susan’s 3rd note, I knew what he was thinking, “Il Divo who? Adam Lambert what? Gimme this house-frau any day of… Read More »