“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

V is For Victory for Tubby…I mean…Voluminously Voluptuous Women. To be clear, V Magazine is doing a whole issue with plus-sized models. This is a major statement for the normally anorexic audience that reads most uber-fabulous glossies. Didn’t they all start the trend in vomiting and other such lovely feats of strength to look thin and gorgeous. As a past fatty, I am glad that V is willing to dedicate this much attention and resources to acknowledge this audience. I just wonder if it will be the token fat issue and never again will we see an unsightly bulge…except in… Read More »

How did The New York Times Style section figure out a way to stretch an article about Justin Bieber as long as it was? The guy is still in diapers for Christ’s sake. Is there really enough depth for such an extensive piece? Oh, right, the Jingle Ball, now there’s a life-altering lesson to share. Needless to say, when I read that his mother was praying that the Jewish hip-hop manager would not be their ticket to fame and fortune, I cringed. But to learn that Justin has a swagger coach…for what…to give his prepubescent genital area some Elvis action…well…I… Read More »

I don’t know who I fear most: Nigerian bankers, (surely American bankers give me the willies), or Yemenites or Charlie Sheen, and while I’m at it…Ivana Trump. Starting with Ivana. I actually share her sentiments with her yelling at a baby on board a flight from Florida to NYC yesterday. You know that feeling, once you are comfortably seated on the plane and some third world mother and her kid(s) or worse, a white woman and one kid, one who has not yet heard the word “no” plops down alongside you…well…it puts me over the edge anyway. And, apparently Ivana,… Read More »

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLI8rWtU86M_i0&feature=player_embedded Ladies and gentlemen, and hypocrites of all ages. Step right up and peruse these images of Lindsay Lohan. You know you want to. You know you can’t resist looking, then taking the time to make comments that show much you really do care…though your words say otherwise. As we all know, actions speak louder than words. So, just to be clear, Lindsay is not “fugly”, on the contrary. Lindsay is not sad, on the contrary. And no this photo shoot was not a career “mistake”, on the contrary. For whatever reason, Lindsay Lohan is one of the most controversial… Read More »

Yesterday, I Mean…What?!? shared the cover art for the upcoming issue of MUSE, the Fashionart Magazine from Milan shot by Yu Tsai, featuring Lindsay Lohan. You’d think by the the comments all over the internet that we did something malicious. You know, like the Bitches of Eastwick coming out of the woodwork, claiming that we had sex with Tiger Woods, (I’m breching at the thought, but would happily take the million bucks). Or sneaking into the White House illegally like Michaele and Tareq Salahi the desperadoes du jour. Or perhaps like Courtney (more facial fillers now) Love, accusing Britney Spears‘… Read More »

Here’s a game that we can all play together. It’s pretty easy. I will show you a picture followed by a few statements. You select the answer that best fits the person/people and the situation. Easy and fun! A) Now what are we gonna do? B) Look, we’ve gotten this far, surely some stupid publicity scam will keep us in the public eye. C) All of the above. A) One sex tape, even sex tapes. What’s the difference? B) These boobs are all I have left. C) I should have lied to Perez Hilton, God damn it. D) All of… Read More »

Here we have another edition of Last Five Minutes of Fame. This is an odd week because some of the people on this list are the current obsession of the media. Maybe it is wishful thinking. But I am testing my witching powers to see if by virtue of putting them on the list, if that has an impact on what we will see in the press going forward. Which is such a sad state of media affairs. I heard that Access Hollywood told a publicist that they only way they will cover an event if Jon Gosselin attends. Like… Read More »

“Menswear should take cues from womenswear, and not just the other way around,” says Muccia Prada in BlackBook. Now, you all know how much I love to trash a good manzie (click to get official meaning). It has been eons since I did a session on that “look”, which confuses many of my readers, while providing many good laughs. “But, Muccia, what items in womenswear can men pull off without looking like big, nelly queens?”, I Mean…What!?! wants to know. Leggings for starters. Leggings have been on trend and a huge best-seller for the past few seasons. But on guys?… Read More »

Call me a prude, fine, but the things some women wear these days are way too revealing…OK…slutty. Sexy is a great thing, and details like backless, plunging necklines, or even midriff baring are all fine by me. But there is a fine line that divides sexy and bad taste. The lack of outrage from womens groups or their silence is disheartening. Is this what Gloria Steinem fought for? Women to flaunt their tits and parade around like sexual objects of desire with their phony catch me, catch me coquettish acts? I don’t think so. I am not saying cover up,… Read More »

It never ceases to amaze me how some people walk around, be it at events, or otherwise, in get ups that are just shockingly wrong. Doesn’t Own A Mirror could become a weekly column, seeing what weird taste people have. The focus is on those folks that should know better…like people that the media follows, who simply must know a stylist or a gay, to help them navigate the horrors of looking like…well…this…… Read More »