“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Michael Kors To Wed

Aug 1, 2011Fashion, People We Lerve

The happy couple.

Congratulations Michael Kors and his soon be be spouse, Lance LePere. Lord knows I wish all gays happily ever after my hope is that gay marriage statistics kicks straight marriage in the ass. This year, up to 50% of straight marriages will end in divorce. So gays? Listen up. Stay put.

Otherwise, this is my feeling of gay marriage now that it is official in New York. Look, if Iowa can get the gay marriage thing together, so, indeed, should every state in the union. And that includes Minnesota, where Michelle and Marcus Bachmann have proven that gay weddings do not have to be exclusively between two gay people. Anyhooo, I am not an opponent or a proponent of marriage, gay or otherwise. At the risk of sounding beyond jaded and grumpy, the Marriage Act, seems to be just that. Monogamy is a challenging notion that defies gravity: what is forbidden becomes obsession. Hey, I survived an eleven year relationship. Sure, there are those lovely exceptions; couples that are perfect for each other. I have seen that maybe twice. Other than that, one hears all too often:

“Relationships are tough, I feel trapped.”
“What an asshole.”
“Not tonight, I’m not in the mood.”

Notice the dagger and ax? Good luck with that.

I went to my first gay wedding in California in 1999. It was a gorgeous affair in Montecito (where Oprah now has a house) attended by the couple’s 100 “closest friends” in a grand, Spanish-style mansion built in the 1920′s. We all stood in a large circle on the sprawling grounds as the happy couple went around in the circle, “honoring” each and every one of us for sharing in this momentous occasion. I attended my first gay divorce–yes, the aforementioned couple’s–six months later to the day. Same house, less lavish affair. Actually, turns out that one of the boys was a gold digger, and when he found out there was more smoke and mirrors than cash, off he went. I knew then that gay marriage was going to be a challenge like many straight marriages are. Except for those rare exceptions like Ellen and Portia or Elton and David. You’ve gotta love gay people for wanting to throw their hat in the wedding ring–as opposed to the towel–whatever the consequences. Sure the economy sucks, but standing up for freedom of choice will always rule. It is what makes any country great. Ask the Swedes.

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