“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Welcome back, Lindsay Lohan. And what better time than when we are all trapped in our homes desperate for something/anything to talk about. Linsday just dripped her first single, “Back To Me”, since the year of the flood. … Read More »

LINDSAY: Don’t you dare talk shit about my mother.
BROOKE: Your mother is shit.… Read More »

From the Abe & Miriam Webster Dictionary of Abeisms: Lohan (Low–as in life– Han) to reduce (an object or career) to useless fragments, or remains, burning, or dissolving (bridges). injure beyond repair or renewal; demolish; ruin; annihilate (credibility). to put an end to or extinguish (career). to kill or slay (career). to render ineffective or useless; nullify; neutralize; invalidate (your everything). to defeat completely (any and all hopes of a comeback). Lindsay Lohan is no longer a just person, or an actress, lohan is now officially a verb. Replace lohan with the word destroy and you will see what I… Read More »

Somewhere Over The Fiscal Cliff (sung to the tune of Somewhere Over The Rainbow) should be the official swan song for Lindsay Lohan and the Republican House of Representatives.
Somewhere over the fiscal cliff,
Way down there.
There’s a bunch of gross baboons,
Drowning in their selfish pride.
Somewhere over the fiscal cliff,
John Boehner sobs,
And Paul Ryan is wishing that he never took Mitt’s call.… Read More »

Lindsay Lohan officially kisses her career goodbye.… Read More »

Radar Online is reporting that Lindsay Lohan is telling Dina Lohan that she needs rehab? If that ain’t the pot calling the kettle orange.… Read More »

Not a week after I said that Lindsay Lohan should lose those bangs comes her new ‘doo and I am taking full credit. Whatever. this, after she was mistaken for Debbie Harry who is FORTY years her senior. Too bad she didn’t do this for her return to Earth on Saturday Night Live. People would have been more focused on that rather than her cue-card festoon.… Read More »

Lindsay Lohan made an appearance to promote her Saturday Night Live hosting duties on The Today Show with Matt Lauer sporting a new set of bangs. Bangs are not for everybody. Her face is too round and it does not look great. Speaking of not looking great, check out Gabourey Sidibe at some event last week. Sorry, get it together girl. Back to La Liz, whose nickname also applies to La Lohan. Look at this snapshot of Liz. Lohan looks better without bangs as shown in Love magazine. Now if Lindsay wants to play Liz looking- The Cleopatra Years, she… Read More »

Well, frankly, this Playboy cover is not as riveting as when Lindsay Lohan first showed us her nipple here on I Mean What?!? two years ago on the Muse magazine spread and accompanying video. Look, I have always wished her well—though I get flack for it—but I still do. Would love to see 2012 be the most productive for her. That is my holiday wish for Lindsay. Happy Ho Ho Ho. httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLI8rWtU86M_i0&feature=player_embedded… Read More »

Lindsay Lohan is like a burger. But not just any burger. Lindsay is an In & Out Burger since she has popped into and out of jail more often than I have actually had In & Out Burgers… and I lived in LA! So last night Lindsay went to prison to serve her 30 day term and was released four hours later. Talk about time flies. Good for her, she is out in the streets with yet another shot of a career. Make this one count. Do it with extra cheese and extra pickles.  … Read More »