“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Oh Madonna, Madonna, Madonna. Madge, Madge, Madge. You are making me all fatootzed (confused in Yiddish). I am soooo not feeling the Material Girl–brought to you by Macy’s–thing at all. I know, through Kabbalah, you are like officially Jewish now. But that does not mean you have to automatically go into the schmatta business. And does Lourdes need to have a career at thirteen years of age? What’s wrong with a Bat-Mitzvah at Leonard’s of Great Neck and some dance classes? I know, you are a great mother. But I am not so sure that you are a real Jewish… Read More »

Ever since Madonna jumped into the schmatta business, it has been a head-scratcher. Why the lame move from musical icon to tween celebrity-turned-fashion-designer extraordinaire? Sure, she’s made some cute moves like hiring Taylor Momsen, the Gossip Girl cast-off as the original face of the label, Material Girl. But overall, Madonna & Schmatta was just an odd lot job lot. The news that LA Triumph, a garmento company in California, is suing Madonna, claiming the rights to the name Material Girl is really annoying. Sure, the tween Macy’s fest is somewhat beneath my Material Girl but Madonna is and will always… Read More »

You have gotta love Madonna. Of course for her unending musical contributions and icon status. I love that she takes a subway like Mayor Bloomberg, that she is a mother first and a designer second—and somehow managed to turn that situation into a 20 million dollar deal for her and Lourdes. She is a shrewd cookie and a cougar on a mission—and I love her. Oh to have been a fly on the wall at that Macy’s personal appearance yesterday. I am sure she was just thrilled to have to placate 350 screaming kids, all of whom had to purchase… Read More »

Lola Ciccone has hit her own zeitgeist. She now has a clothing line, a blog, and is a self-proclaimed style maven. The question is: Will Lola revamp the Material Girl look that her Momma made famous umpteen millions years ago? Is that look relevant now? Hey, I thoroughly support and admire anyone who wants to take the world, head on. When I was Lola’s age, all I could think about was smoking pot and laying in the middle of my school football field, watching the stars come out at night, amazed. And I thought that was being major productive. Well,… Read More »

httpv://youtu.be/tYkwziTrv5o Yes, her venture into the  schmatta business annoyed me, but when it comes to Madonna and her music, she is the grooviest. (Goo-Goo GaGa) I love Madonna’s new video Girl Gone Wild, the ad for her new Truth or Dare fragrance, and the recent performance at the Super Bowl. All the naysayers can take a powder. And when I say powder, I mean some MDMA, and then they should listen to Into The Groove…and you can dance. httpv://youtu.be/ZrLJXp3nYiE… Read More »

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to bid a fond farewell to The Manzie*. (*See below meaning of Manzie for those of you new comers.) What was once a vibrant, hysterical fashion statement that captivated the runways of Milan and Paris—heck and New York for that matter—looks that left us speechless, or gagging anyway, have now gone to that great fashion graveyard beyond… Ebay. Who won’t miss those retarded styles by Thom Browne, or some of those collections from Rick Owens and Walter Van Beirendonck’s Big Bird ensembles from Spring ’10? And surely we can never forget that madcap John… Read More »

The fashion industry is like network television. You can keep changing the channels, only to find utter nonsense filling the airwaves. In that same vain, you can go from fashion show to fashion show only to find utter nonsense filling the runways. The job of an editor these days, besides batting off the fashion bloggers for your prime seat, is to live through endless presentations that are simply a waste of time fotz. Anyone who wants to jump on board for the schmatta business these days, like Madonna and every other celebrity it seems, has to be completely nuts. When… Read More »

Now, correct me if I am wrong, but didn’t Dita Von Teese start out as a stripper….excuse me…burlesque performance artist? Don’t get me wrong, I think she is fascinating, beautiful, intriguing, beguiling, bewitched, bothered and bewildered. Surely she is a one-of-a-kind, that is for sure, and her iconic stature is undeniable. But, stripper plenty. So you can imagine my shock and awe at the recent revelation that Dita is considering designing a line of clothing. Clothes designed to be taken off, I guess. Must everyone who achieves any level of celebrity automatically design a line of clothing? I am beginning… Read More »

Help…I am drowning in a pool schmattas designed by celebrities. Someone throw me a line…and not a line designed by a celebrity. Unless you have been living under a rock, you would have noticed that a slew of celebrities have taken to multitasking, branding, adding layers to their illustrious careers by cultivating their secret childhood fantasies of becoming fashion designers. Literally every week I report on another astonishing member of this new clan of celebrities, who we can lovingly call brand whores. Every entertainment management firm is out there selling their talent to anyone that will pay anything, in an… Read More »

Madonna is finally jumping into the fashion business?!? I knew that she was hankering to become a schmatta peddler for years but was waiting for the right time and the right deal. And I guess this is it. There is no time like the present and there’s no place like Macy’s…though I wish she would just stay home. Anyone who is anyone that reads I MEAN…WHAT?!? knows how obsessed I am with this whole celebrity-turned-designer quagmire that we find ourselves in. And not obsessed like “I am obsessed with my Sarah Jessica Parker for Halston number” but more like, “Can… Read More »