“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

Perhaps I do not speak for everyone when mentioning drinking mushroom tea. Have you ever tried it? It is amazing. The reason it has been on my mind lately is because there must be something in the tea of the Tea Party. What exactly are the Tea Party-ers partying on? Surely these people are not stone cold sober. They have to be high on something, and life is not one of them. Reasons below: Michele Bachmann must be on Oxycontin or else she would have known, or had access to know, that the day she was bringing in the sheathes… Read More »

It is not often that I interview a member of the Tea Party. Mostly because I would sooner watch paint dry than listen to a rambling, neo-conservative ranting about things that I firmly disagree with. Their system of politics is infuriating. The Tea Party does not want our government to spend money that we do not have, and surely that is unarguable. However their methods of communication are often reprehensible. Their flash mob mentality coupled with ridiculous hats defuses their message, and when they plaster their social conservative ideology on hateful signs, well, they lose me and gain some toothless… Read More »

Would somebody please take a sock and shove it into Christine O’Donnell‘s mouth. And while your at it, take the other matching sock and stuff it into Sarah Palin‘s for good measure. Needless to say, we could use a few more pairs of socks to stuff in the mouths of the other Tea Baggers like Sharon Angle and Carl Paladino. What on Earth is this election cycle turning into? What the Tea Party has done here is prove just how stupid so many Americans really are. Stupid along the lines of the Jews in the desert being led my Moses,… Read More »

I have heard just about enough from the Tea Party, the Tea Baggers, the morons, whatever you want to call them. What country do we live in and worse, what year is this?  When I think back to when the United States was truly, beautifully motivated for change, back in the late 1960’s, when our message was Women’s Rights, Black Power, Student’s Rights, Stop The War, Peace Now, Flower Power, Peace, Love and Woodstock, it makes me sad at the rhetoric we hear now from crowds. Many of these Tea Baggers can barely string together a coherent sentence and worse,… Read More »

What has become of us? Who are we? Has our nation’s pastime become golf? Is baseball passe? So last season? The brand that is golf is having such a hey day, that I actually started wearing my old Izod shirts again. Somebody help me. Take me to a Golfers Anonymous meeting. Surely they exist. There are 12 Step meetings for everything on Earth (i.e., Mistresses Anonymous and Horndogs Anonymous). Since the Tiger Woods and His Band of Merry Hookers fiasco, we have become obsessed with the minutia of the sport and his penis. It is the cover story of every… Read More »

How can we put Republicans out of their misery? That hair-brained Tea Party scheme went over like a lead balloon. You can stand in the rain from here to Timbuktu, tea bags in hand…I mean…what?!? Instead of using  the Boston Tea Party as your model, the better idea was to pull a Lady Godiva, ride through town NUDE on a white horse, in an effort to gain a remission of the oppressive taxation of the time. Your tea party idea was a sad and pathetic attempt to make a point. Couple hundred people here, couple of hundred people there, does… Read More »

How do you like our I MEAN WHAT PARTY flag? Please note that we reversed the stripe and made them vertical… because they are slimming! … Read More »

You know exactly what I am about to talk about: the endless coverage of the White House Party Crashers and Tiger Woods and His Stream of Dancing Ho’s. Unfortunately, these stories are not going anywhere for the next foreseeable future. Yikes, what’s Babba Wawwa (Barbara Walters) to do? Do you think she could quickly grab Tiger Woods or the tragically-desperate-for-fame couple Tareq and Michaele Salahi as her last two entries for 10 Most Fascinating People of 2009? She needs ratings!!! All I know is that The Insider spent a full half-hour on Tiger‘s penis. Eeny meeny miney mo, catch a… Read More »

OMG…I have come up with the most brilliant new TV show on Earth! The Real Housewives of The Republican Party. Come on. Admit it. It’s geniositude. Talk about watching a train wreck. This friggen show has more potential viewership than American Idol. Heck, Fox News would run streaming video all day of these Housewives’ shenanigans. I am obsessed with this idea. And if some fledgling cable network steals this show idea, let it be stated for the record, that on this day, June 12, 2009, I MEAN…WHAT?!? claimed a show which features political housewives wives. See you at the Emmy… Read More »

Miley Cyrus has a tongue. She has many reasons for which she can stick it out at us for sure.With all the hub-bub about her risque performance at the 2013 VMAs, it’s just funny to see how desperate the media is to brand her as a silly child, even though she is a woman who knows exactly what she is doing. On November 24, 2010 I wrote a piece called Hannah Montana: Rest In Peace in response to a scathing article about Miley in the New York Times Style section, which at that time was the least interesting fashion journal… Read More »