What did I tell you? Three weeks ago, when the Breaking Newzzz of Kim Kardashian‘s unexpected divorce from Kris “The Brick Shit House” Humphries came to light, I predicted that the Kris & Kim divorce will be a major soap opera, which I titled The Days of Kim’s Lives…All Nine of Them. Well, since the dish has started flying, I am changing the name of the soap opera to As The Stomach Turns because this divorce is going to be a doozy. Before the ink is even dry—from the Parker Pen that was pitched to Kim to sign the divorce papers with—comes insider scoop on what a douche bag Kris was from the start.
SIDE BAR: Look, I wish Kim Kardashian every happiness and freedom from jerkdom. But I am from the school of we all have to take 50% responsibility in our life’s circumstances. If the handwriting was on the wall, then runaway bride was the only option. Yes, now Kim needs to rebuild her image and has cancelled all her fluffy appearances which was a smart move. I am curious whether the only commitment she kept to be the cover girl on the March issue of Allure will sell as well as issues past. But I digress.
Back to the Kris douche-baggery story in Us Weekly called Kris: Husband From Hell. One source said: “He belittled her in front of people, he’d call her stupid, he tried to control Kim by bringing her down. He would say truly terrible things. One time, he said she had no talent and her fame wouldn’t last.” Another source said that he said, “Four years ago you were selling clothes at a boutique in the Valley and now you think you’re Miss Princess.” Well…
Yes, all roads lead to the fact that Kris was a jerk. But, excuse me, Joel Steinberg was the husband from hell. O.J. Simpson was the husband from hell. Ike Turner was the husband from hell. Kris Humphries? Garden variety douche bag. Let’s not forget that this saga is just the beginning. Surely, upcoming episodes of As The Stomach Turns will reveal that Kim was no day at the beach either. I can imagine that on days of personal appearances and photo shoots she needed absolute silence and massage.