The Lohaning Of Justin Bieber

Apr 17, 2013Breaking Newzzz

Justin Bieber lohaning? Qu’est-ce que c’est lohaning?

From the Abe & Miriam Webster Dictionary of Abeisms:

Lohan (Low–as in life– Han)

  1. to reduce (an object or career) to useless fragments, or remains, burning, or dissolving (bridges).
  2. injure beyond repair or renewal; demolish; ruin; annihilate (credibility).
  3. to put an end to or extinguish (career).
  4. to kill or slay (career).
  5. to render ineffective or useless; nullify; neutralize; invalidate (your everything).
  6. to defeat completely (any and all hopes of a comeback).
Lindsay Lohan is no longer a just person, or an actress, lohan is now officially a verb. Replace lohan with the word destroy and you will see what I mean. Remember when Google was just a start up tech company with lofty ambitions to take over the world? Well, now that they have, their company name has become our daily habit in that we are constantly googling the shit out of each other.
Justin Bieber is his own biggest belieber and maybe Amanda Bynes is too.

Justin Bieber is his own biggest belieber and maybe Amanda Bynes is too.

In that same vain we have lohaning. Many young superstars begin lohaning their reputations as did the namesake Lindsay. The best you can hope for is that lohaning is just a phase one goes through as in the case of Rumor Willis and Nicole Richie. People can rebound from lohaning because the world loves a story of redemption. Now we are watching–in real time–Justin Bieber lohaning his goody two shoes image whose Mommy started his career on YouTube into where he is now vomiting on stage, smoking hootch with homies, insulting Anne Frankophiles, Tweeting nonsense and Instagraming soft porn photos of his royal hairlessness. Justin Bieber is beginning to come off like the male Amanda Bynes. And that, my dear boy, is no compliment. Actually, Amanda Bynes wishes she was lohaning. Now all she is doing is proving that her decision to retire from acting was the greatest gift of all time.
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