Who Wears Shorts Shorts

Jul 17, 2009Breaking Newzzz

Letters To The Editor – Who Wears Short Shorts?

Every other day, I receive complimentary emails about how much joy people get from reading I MEAN…WHAT?!?…and for that I am most grateful. This week, however, I received my first Dear I Mean..What?!? letter, asking for fashion advice. Kind of like Dear Abey…as it were. But not just general fashion advice. No, this was from a concerned male reader that under no circumstances wanted to be perceived as a Manzie.

Hey Abe,
Is it OK to wear shorts around Paris?  Your insight into what would be the best way to proceed would be much appreciated.  Any info much appreciated.  Thank you very much.  Thank you.
Paul

Hi Paul,
Feel free to send me an image of said shorts. I would think that if it’s really hot, sure, why not. BUT and this is a big BUT, the whole look should be relaxed and not an outfit. So, not having seen the shorts, perhaps wear a wife beater tank and a short sleeved man-tailored shirt that you keep open, not buttoned. Does this help?
Peace and no Manzies…
ABE

Here’s my opinion on a plethora of shorts.

Army fatigues are OK. I lke them coupled with crisp white man-tailored shirt, tucked out, naturally.
Army fatigues are OK. I like them coupled with a crisp white man-tailored shirt, tucked out, naturally.

Low rise, army green...totlly good.
Low rise, army green…totally good.
Denim is always great. I prefer cut offs, and definitley not too short as the shorter you cut them, the nellier you look.
Denim is always great. I prefer cut offs, and definitley not too short as the shorter you cut them, the nellier you look.
See what I mean?
See what I mean?
You're a man, not a Balenciaga bag. Snip, snip.
You’re a man, not a Balenciaga bag. Snip, snip.
Need I say anything here? You know how I feel about this look that will not ever translate well into the streets. Not that Manzies should be discriminated at the workplace...but yikes.
Need I say anything here? You know how I feel about this look that will not ever translate into the streets. Not that Manzies should be discriminated at the workplace…but yikes.
Double yikes.
Double yikes.
Cargo shorts are a bit of a yikes especially if you put too much shit in the side pockets, then it is a total yikes.
Cargo shorts are a bit of a yikes especially if you put too much shit in the side pockets, then it is a total yikes, as the silhouette is beyond unflattering.
And leather and shorts should never be used in the same sentence.
The words leather and shorts should never be used in the same sentence.
I don't care what kind of sex you are into. Ooh, daddy, unsnap that crotch...I mean...what?!?
I don’t care what kind of sex you are into. Ooh, daddy, unsnap that crotch…I mean…what?!?

Look, I have been a bitch about what people wear since I was knee-high to grasshopper. Since creating this forum, and receiving this note, it is official, that I am now official. Have a great weekend y’all. Keep the cards and letters coming. And be sure to send me images of random Manzies.

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