“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

There’s something that I find increasingly odd about David Axelord, chief strategist of Barak Obama’s presidential campaign and top strategist in the White House. Maybe odd is not the right word. How about he makes me increasingly uncomfortable. I was watching Obama’s 900th press appearance last night on every channel (come on, American Idol is pre-empted for a re-run?) and I noticed David Axelrod in the background, fully smug, chewing gum, but not like the kind of chewing that one would expect from a publicist on a red carpet. You always see publicists chewing gum on a red carpet, but they do it demurely…an occasion chew, mouth closed. There is nothing worse that a bad-breathed publicist. I insist my teams chew gum at events for fear of scaring off the talent. But Axelrod was chewing like a Brooklyn toogie-girl. Full-on, open-mouth chewing, like Marisa Tomei in My Cousin Vinny. It just stuck in my craw and has been bothering me ever since. Here you are, the man who created the Wizard, you’re in the White House, in front of the world media, and you are chewing gum and smirking like some bridge-and-tunnel secretary? I don’t know. It just felt odd and it is making me increasingly uncomfortable.

The thing about being the Obama architect is that it was all based on public relations. And since I am in that game, I understand how it works, its nuances, its effectiveness and its importance. But when PR IS POLITICS, then I have to just stop and take a harder look. Let me preface this with (I have said this before and will over and over again) Barak is amazing. I could listen to him for hours. His wisdom is soothing, his smile is intoxicating and his thoughtfulness reassuring. BUT, David Axelrod knows this too, and is spinning it out to the point where I believe (and this is just my opinion) that he is playing into Barak’s ego, convincing him to stay out there. Sure, keep the Amercian public updated, try to tell us how it works, no one gets it, we never will. As a nation, we’re not smart enough. Those who are, make lots of money as they are adept at that game. Do you think the average Joe (and I don’t mean Joe the Plummer, who has a publicist that chews gum demurely) is going to understand how to free-up the flow of credit? Or buying up the bad debts? Percentage this, percentage that. I hate paying the $2 at a cash machine, it ends there…but I digress. I surely would hate for the tide to turn on Barak because of over-exposure to the media, the fucking pack of wolves that they are.

Sure, it’s all about ego in politics, but if you have an egomaniac puppetmaster and an egomaniacle marionette, then you run the risk of too much of a good thing, which is not a good either. Like drugs. It’s as though they are putting Obama out there to give everyone a little fix to keep his ratings up and people hooked. It’s pretty transparent. My favorite line here is “Excuse me, can you remove your label so I can see right through you?” Listen, I just had to share this as its been bugging me. The man behind the curtain here is brilliant, yes, but potentially overzealous. Axlerod’s company in Chicago does what is called “Astroturfing”, which is swaying public opinion for corporations. Kind of like a clandestine lobbyist group. Not that there is anything wrong with it, but it’s just not that clean and pretty. Look, it’s politics and I get that, since I am far from an innocent. But I’ve been saying for over a week now, Obamski, lay low, get some things done and then come out for another lap, you show dog, you. And a Portuguese Water Dog at that.