Look, I am by no means a prude, but have you seen the new campaign to promote the Miss USA pageant? Donlad Trump‘s properties have just had a major Victoria’s Secret overhaul. The marketing campaign just launched and all 51 contestants have traded in their pageant hair and cornball, prom gowns for that skanky, Gross Baboon of the Year look that all of Tiger Woods‘ skanks share. Now, I am all for racy, but didn’t Carrie Prejean…nutbag hypocrite extraordinaire…get chastised for being a skank? Will this new pageant action shift the talent portion of the evening? Will we see Fellatio? Speed Massage with Release? Will the judges sit on stage and get lap dances? And what of the swimsuit competition? Will it become a thong-bearing walk off? If the answer is yes…great. If the answer is no, then why skank up these beauty queens, who’s parents must be breching (vomit in Yiddish). And will the final spontaneous questions be a bit more salacious? Perhaps something along these lines:
- If you were approached by Tiger Woods at a nightclub now, what would you say to him?
- If a married politician, not unlike John Edwards, approached you at a fundraiser for the said politician, what would you say to him?
- If Ashley Durpe wanted to interview you for her ASK ASHLEY column in the New York Post, would you grant the interview, and why?
- Do you think Gloria Allred really cares about women’s issues or is she just a good old fashioned publicity hound? Would you ever seek her council?
When asked by The Insider, The Donald said, “We are in a different age. They are a little bit sexy but I’ll tell you what – everybody’s watching, so I have no problems with it”. Imagine the endless meetings to discuss how to turn up the heat on that otherwise boring pageant show. Boy have they come up with a formula that will do just that. The old sex sells method. If it works, no doubt, Vanity Fair magazine will feature the newly crowned Miss USA in yet another racy photo spread, just like the one featuring Joselyn James and Loredana Jolie, winners of The I Mean…What?!? Gross Baboon of the Year Award.