America’s Next Top

Apr 20, 2012Fashion

America's Next Top. Now that has a ring to it, no?

Here’s what Tyra Banks needs to do in order to revive her signature television show, America’s Next Top Model, the project that put her on the top of the reality television heap along with Heidi Klum’s Project Runway. But like all good things, and I include both of those shows, they die out. If Seinfeld and Mary Tyler Moore can overstay their welcome, believe me, these gals have too. But since Tyra is a fighter and since she is all college graduated and shizz, you can bet someone else’s bottom dollar and Miss Tyra is not going to go down with out a fight, rather, a college try.

Letting go of noted fashion photographer Nigel Barker seemed like the best first things first. And (B) what exactly was he noted for? But really child, how about looking at the format. The show is as old as the…well…the friggen show…hills. And revisit the script already too. Just because you want to merchandise the crap out of ANTM, (Harvard Business School, Hawking 101) does not mean that girls will run to buy the stuff off the shelves. You might convince a few big box retailers, but if you go any more downmarket, you’d be shopping Ross For Less. And that is no way to market a brand. You’d be better off marketing the show to the gays, queens and drag queens and renaming the show America’s Next Top. Move it over to LOGO-TV, since they don’t know what the hell they are doing and go toe-to-toe (in a smart sandal pump) with RuPaul. Now that would be fierce.

I’d love to wish everyone the best, especially Miss J Alexander, who is so koo-koo for cocoa puffs, but is usually the voice of reason. I am sure that Miss Thing, Jay Manuel will land on her his feet. Who doesn’t want a fancy know-it-all on every set?

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