“I Mean…What?!?” – Abe Gurko

The gloves are off and the cat fight begins between Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann, the Doublemint Twins of the Tea Party. Neither zealot has officially entered the race yet, but they are already taking jabs at each other through their hired mouth pieces. What is more brilliant than that? Brilliant because as I predicted months ago, there will be no harmony with this duet. It is similar to the similarities of Bryce Dallas Howard and Jessica Chastain. It is hard to tell them apart, too.

In March, when the Charlie Sheen meltdown was monopolizing the airwaves, I wrote:

The happy homemakers, Sarah (Cross-Hair) Palin and Michele (Cross-Eyed) Bachmann have been doing their darnedest to get some face time on the boob tube. Naturally, Fox News to the rescue, where Ms. Blabbermouth #1 has been spewing venomous insults about the Obama Administration, while her potential Presidential rival Ms. Blabbermouth #2 was doing the same. The slanderous comments such as “Gangster Government” is so racially motivated, that it makes John Galliano look like Mother Teresa. Since they have synced up their talking points you cannot tell the two apart. From my vantage point this will only, happily, mean that they will cross each other out when the time comes for them to run for President. Unless, Dumb and Dumber are so stupid, that they will run for the White House on one ticket. Palin for President while Bachmann, conceding that she is, in fact, the dumber of Dumb and Dumber, will accept the secondary slot as Vice Presidential hopeful. Sign me up to be the PR committee on that ticket.

Whereas in January I wrote:

Michele Bachmann‘s rebuttal to President Barack Obama‘s speech last Tuesday (talking off camera to her imaginary friend) proved how desperate she is to be the key voice of the Republican Party. And Sarah Palin will not go gently into the night and give up her spot in the spotlight to Bachmann, who does not have as good a head of hair. My suggestion is that we do a special episode of MTV’s Celebrity Death Match with these two broads and “May the best woman win“, to quote Ru Paul.